July 23, 2004
Dog vs. Cat
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
12:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A
CAT'S DAILY DIARY
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The
only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
DAY 185 OF MY CAPTIVITY
Today my attempt to kill my captors,
by weaving around their feet while
they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the
top of the
next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Note-to-self:
I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too. Wonder how
long it'll take them to find it?
DAY 204 OF MY CAPTIVITY
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Damn!
Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I
my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez." Must
learn what the
hell this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 225 OF MY CAPTIVITY
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
obviously be a bloody half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the
metal room, his
safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of
Sent by Mersedeh
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