Hot air
Where are you from honey?
By Daniel Zangeneh
December 13, 2000
The Iranian
As I was walking into the airplane, the flight attendant smiled and
with her beautiful French accent said, "Welcome to Air France."
Everyone was rushing to get to their seats. "Sorry... excuse me...
sorry..." It was like a polite wrestling match.
Finally I got to my seat and tried to put my lap top into the compartment
above my seat. A 300-something-pound woman was sitting in the middle and
a college-student-looking girl was sitting by the window. They looked at
me and I said hi. The woman smiled and the girl said hello. I could feel
a nervous energy around me as the plane took off. To pass the time, I decided
to write an email to my friend in Iran.
The flight attendant came by and asked what we would like for lunch.
The woman next to me asked what was being served. "We have a choice
of chicken, seafood or sandwiches," the attendant said. "Oh I
love chicken! But I better get my pill," said the woman and started
laughing. She grabbed her bag and took out a bottle of Gas-X. Then she
turned to me.
- Where are you from honey?
- Originally from Iran, but I lived in Missouri for a long time. Now
I live in Pennsylvania....
- Oh I---ran....
- Yeah...
- My God. How can your people stand Saddam? Is he still alive?
- Ummm ... Saddam Hossein is the president of I---raq. I am from I---ran...
- Isn't it all the same? My baby boy fought in Desert Storm. I'm going
to Germany to see him....
- That's very nice... I'm going to Berlin to visit my brother.
- I've always been curious about I---ran...
- Really, that's cool! Have you been there?
- Oh noo, noo sir... never... I could never go to I---ran... no sir...
they're our enemies...
- Really? Why is that?
- Because we fought them to liberate Kuwait...
- Oh ...I didn't know that!
- Yes sir ... America stands for freedom. We always send our sons to
free other people....
- That's very nice...but...
- You know something honey?
- What?
- I think we should have gone farther and liberated India too...
- Why India?
- The Indian government forces people to pray to cows... Yes sir...
- Oh... really? I didn't know that one! They must be communists.
- Yes sir... they are communists.... they don't even believe in Jesus
or Moses or that guy from the Middle East...what's his name?
- You mean Mohammad?
- Whatever...
The mixture of chicken and gas was not a very good one.
