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    September 27, 1999

Lost hope in humanity

After reading the article written by Cyrus L. Raafat ["Real Iranian girls?"], I have lost all hope in humanity, dignity, decency when it comes to men and women. What am I talking about? I talk nothing about cultural ideals or unrealistic aspirations. I speak of the nature instilled in all of us as human beings. This Raafat person seems to be lacking any kind of sense, any kind of sincerity and has been born completely without any kind of honor or realism.

Pointing out the obvious - that he is a hypocrite by stating that he is a playboy and now wants a virgin - should demean his very credibility as an objective journalist in this genre of writing. Mr Rufaat seems more interested in throwing around cultural rhetoric and using phrases (that he likely learned from an Encyclopedia Britianica) that seem much too advanced for his simian way of thinking. He comes across as a dime-store charlatan, spouting off with the bravado befitting a man who has had lots of cake and wants to eat it too - but only a fresh piece, mind you. What a poor, horrible, undignified example of an Iranian-American.

I do not pity Mr. Rafaat, nor do I feel sorry for him. I am embarrassed for him and am quite offended that your online publication would cater to the unrealistic and delusional ramblings of a man that seems to possess little if any scruples about how the world we live in works. But, alas, I am an advocate for freedom of the press. You may publish any article you desire and I trust you will keep doing thus, however, don't expect a great deal of respect from the public when you ignore objectivity, good taste and logic by publishing Rafaat's nonsensical whims and sexual appetites, then call it a legitimate article. It parallels the pulp-tabloid-drivel that we balk at upon standing in line at the supermarket. I can see the headlines now: "Iranian-American Man Will Only Marry a Virgin!"

Mr. Rafaat has no idea what a true relationship consists of. He wants a virgin - an untouched piece of cake who will speak when spoken to, open her mouth only to say "yes" and "no", take good care of her man, take a bath at least once a day. This is not a man looking for a relationship. This is a man looking for a mother-figure who will take care of him and bear him many fine sons. Sounds more like a shopping list to me. Relationships (whether American, Iranian, Russian or whatnot) should be based upon love first and foremost.

Not once did this Rafaat refer TO love. Not once did he make reference to compatibility and trust and respect and friendship. Obviously, if he considered any of these attributes worthwhile, he would have made a better of prioritizing. It's very disheartening to know that there exist people in the world who possess so little self esteem that they would forego those very things that human beings NEED (love, friendship, trust). It's more important for Rafaat to have a virgin then it is for him to find someone he truly loves? There is no poetry, soul or conscience in a man such as this and I am still trying to understand WHY such an article would be published if only to stir the hornet's nest and scare the Iranian-Americans into reverting back to the Neanderthal thinking that the Middle East has been stuck under for much too long.

I had several male friends of mine read his article (some Iranian, some not) and every single one of them see his words as damaging to their very gender and an abashment to Iranian culture. His obvious obsession with virginity and purity and chastity is akin to something you would read in an essay about the sociopathic characteristics of the modern day serial killer. Something is definitely wrong with the mechanisms in Rafaat's head. Unfortunately, I am not writing to offer my services as a psychologist to this man - he must seek help on his own if he is to truly understand why he thinks so little of himself. Life is too short wasting your time on unrealistic fairy tales. My grief for his tragic ideals ends with this email. Thank you for reading this; my opinion is just that . . . an opinion.

S. Smith

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