April 13, 2000
Rules of the game
Dear Mr. D, I am so sorry for what has happened to you in our country.
The problem of "Nosy
relatives" and jealousy in our society, even among Iranian Americans,
is too obvious to be ignored. However from what you wrote in your article,
I believe the main person to be blamed is "Mr. D":
1) You read an article and went to Iran to get some "Real
Iranian girls" who in this case are apparently the virgin ones.
I spent most of my life in Iran and I want you to know having a hymen
doesn't necessarily mean you are a virgin. As you know we have few different
types of sex .
2) The "cat and mouse" game of finding a partner is not something
specific to Iran. No matter where you are in this world, when you want
to approach a potential partner you need to know the rules of the game.
One of the most important rules is that you should control you emotions.
3) Apparently you are not the only person making the most important
decision anyone will ever make in his or her life (i.e marriage). Prarents
are supposed to be respected and satisfied in this situation but not to
be allowed to run the whole show.
4) Like me and a lot of other Iranian guys, you don't have a lot of
experience with girls. You have fallen in love with someone you obviously
believe is the wrong one with wrong a attitude and you can not get rid
of the resulting depression. I hope you learn the rules of the game. Find
some friends and carry on with your life.