September 11, 2000
Want to throw up
I have an unusual habit of becoming physically affected by emotional
and intellectual confinements and restraints. Every time, I find myself
trapped in situations where everything about the situation is against my
beliefs, emotions and my whole being, I start to sweat and itch and want
to throw up.
Unfortunately that's how I felt when I read "Requiem
in Cairo". it's not about the late Shah or Farah or Reza Pahlavi.
I have no quorums with them. My problem is with a 37-year-old who feels
so emotional about someone and some event so irrelavant to him. My only
conclusion is that this is a sign of him being brainwashed by a close member
of his family.
The only people who still praise the Shah and his family are the ex-generals
and ministers and family members who basically lost everything they had
emotionally and physically when they lost their position. I would understand
their sentiments and would have no problem with them explaining their emotions
and feelings. But a 37-year-old, Western-educated person would have to
have come from some kind of a mental and intellectual prison, or private
camp, to have these feelings about the 20th anniversary of the Shah's death.
It's amazing to compare the kinds of things that our people in Iran
are faced with along with their reactions and the kinds of things we see
from others outside the country. We came out to escape the horror and
remain sane but it seems like we are the ones that lost it all. It's a