February 16, 2001
He's just a child
Racism is nothing more than fear ["Punch"].
The boy is reacting to what he sees and hears in his home and you justify
his actions by your reaction and violence. He is just another child...
in the first grade!
Kids say mean things. If your daughter was in high school or a little
older I would understand your concern, maybe, but shit! I can't imagine
how confused and terrified your daughter must have been at your reaction.
Don't kid yourself in thinking that "the race issue" is specific
to the American culture. With you maybe it wasn't Black/White, Asian Hispanic...what
about, Moslem/Jew or Iranian/Turkish? You were probably just on the other
side of it and didn't realize it was racism.
Iranians are racist by nature. I don't know one Iranian mother (okay
I do know one but besides her) I don't know one who would be happy with
their daughter dating a Black man or Asian man or anything not Iranian
Another thing: you are not and never will be (in this country) a "despised
minority". Your skin and your economic standing do not prevent you
from work, society or anything else for that matter. You are overreacting
and anyone who has experienced daily harassment due to racism would tell
you the same.
As a woman maybe you have experienced and unreasonable amount or harassment
and if so, you would understand that what your daughter is experiencing
does not put her in the category of "despised minority".
My parents explained to me (during the "hostage crisis" in
the '70s), that people fear things they don't understand and when confronted,
my choices were to ride it out or talk it out. That most importantly,
taking pride in who I am will only cause others to do the same. It's not
the satisfaction of winning the battle that is important, but rather the
peace of mind that your integrity remains intact and you grow as a result
of the confrontation.
Try that before throwing punches and your daughter might not only come
out of this situation unscathed but stronger. Mommy allows the braking
of her rules when mommy forgets who's battle she is fighting and why the
battle is important.