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by Shahrzad Irani
Corona del Mar, California

It is beyond your imagination
What I have left behind.
I recall the time that I could tell
My loving friends:
Come, sit beside me and
Treat me to a piece of bread
Of Kindness
For I am hungry;
Offer me a drop of water
Of faith
For I am thirsty;
Provide me with a shade
Of loving Memories
Of the past
For I am tired.

I wish that I could
Ask them to not let me
Think about my days in
This world, but my
Isolated room tells me that
They are lost in time and distance.

***

When this world is punished
And has to turn away from light,
I ask:
What is left to go to sleep and wake for?
The clock
On the wall used to
Tell me stories of
True lovers and good people.
And now,
I wonder if it witnessed too many
Fairy tales.
With every breakthrough of light,
My lonely hands have reached out for
The old clock
And discovered that it
Does not talk anymore.

Since I have discovered
Pain,
I often wonder if it has
Lost its faith in humanity.
I believe the first thing it will say is:
There is no justice in
This world.

No one brings breakfast to
My bed anymore at dawn.
I wake up in the morning and
Stare at them kindling the
Visions of my life.

I am tired of praying.

My teacher has a good notion
Of evil and goodness.
She hopes that one of us will
Save the world or at least the
Peace one day, somewhere.

I do not want to be
Troubled by unjust incidents
Far and near and to lose her
Faith in virtue.
I want too much to make her
Happy.
But each time when I
Look around and beyond,
My mirror tells me that
The world has not changed.

There is no justice in
This world.

Not everyone eats at noon.
But I go to lunch and
I watch them burning down
My town,
Street by street.

With every class I wonder
Where my lover is.
Killing to save his home or
Lying among the blood of
His mankind and dusty,
Ruined bombed houses.

I can remember his eyes very clearly.
They reassured me of
Our love and safety.
The eyes would shield me
From myself and the
Cruel reality of this world.

They would make me
Whole and pure again.
The naked rose and
Empty vase have told me that
I have lost them in
My childhood. But I still
Dream of a miracle.

There is no mercy in
This world.

Supper is a feast and
Everyone gorges.
I march to dinner and gaze at them
Burying my beloved playmates.
I laugh and smile with them
But still manage to dream.
Breathing among them,
I try to be strong for them.
I wish them happiness, a good life
And the wisdom of motherhood.

It is discomforting when I have to
Look back into history to find
The time I had a loving friend.
Every time I go back to my room
Lonelier.
I look at the face in the mirror.
The girl from the land of
Endless love says:
I missed you between hours.

Oh, my cracked heart has taken in
Too much of my long life.
I am amazed that it still
Struggles to beat hard next to
My skin.

There is no justice in
This world.

***

My old clock cannot count
The moments fast enough for me
To return.
Listen:
My world is beyond
Your walls and fancy.
Flowers of my garden are
The loved ones.
Men of my town are
The lovers.
Rivers are all
Rainbows at sunset.

Yes, I am in love.
I am from Abadan.