Look, we're just as poor
A brilliant solution to America-bashing!
September 16, 2003
I believe I have just come up with a perfect solution for America's
image problem abroad. No, this is not something that
finds its way into your mailbox over the Internet.
It's original composition. Hear me now, listen to
The immediate action that must be taken is this. Redirect
and broadcast it globally so everyone can see the
mess that CFOs and CEOs have created in this country.
Present to all the poor people in the proverbial
Arab Street, and other America-hating countries, the charts
and graphs that show what the fat cats of America are doing to
cats of America.
Emphasize the fact that more than $100 billion
have evaporated from the US economy in just the
past two years. Explain how an economy that boasted
a surplus of half a Trillion dollars just three years ago
has plummeted to where it is now by that much in the red. Express
at how three million jobs have beenn lost to the mismanaged abyss
that is the US economy.
then watch the birth of miracle before your eyes.
Watch how the
militants the world over will squint their eyes, scratch their
unkempt beard, and look at each other as if to say "what's
he talking about?" Then observe how they will hate us less
and love us more after this. Especially if it is explained
to them that no one will ever fully understand how the economic
I think they'll love us even more when they are shown there's
really no money in any of the nooks and crannies of our
system. That we're just as poor as they are, but infinitely better
at the bluff, and exceptionally competent at dodging creditors.
Seriously tell them how, to borrow a line form Billy Crystal, it
is more important to look good
than to feel good.
Isn't something along that line in the Iranian verbiage?
How do we say, to
redden one's cheeks with slaps? Isn't that the American
way? Show America-haters the
books on house mortgages, car loans, school loans
and second home
mortgages, and credit card debts that Americans are
losing sleep over.
all this, the message is clear, isn't it? Why blow
us up, Osama, when we
are digging ourselves deeper and deeper in holes
that keep getting bigger and bigger? We're not
dumb, we just don't get it why