Flower delivery in Iran


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Part 5
New York, Sunday September 18

10:00 p.m.
Bastard's done it to me again!...Said he was gonna call but I guess it was just his goddammn taarof again. I am NOT going to play this game again! Damn you Peerooz!

Tuesday September 20

4:45 p.m.
Woohooooo!...Got an email from Peerooz today, at 4:40 p.m. This is what he wrote:

"Hi Aziz, dropping you a line to see how you're doing. Hope you're not busy this weekend because I would like to take you out. Talk to you soon, Peerooz."


"Aziz": Very good, already using term of endearment.

"Dropping you a line": Mmmm... not so good, what do you mean you just happened to pass by my cyberneighbourhood and decided to "drop" in? Oh well: chalk it up to more of his mind games. I can cure him of that once we get married.

"Hope": Ooooohhh that's wonderful, he is really begging me to do away with all my other dates (existing only in HIS mind of course) and give him the honor of my company.

"Take you out": Great! No Blockbuster night!

I read those words again and again. Inside my head, I am singing "I have a date for this weekend!" to the tune of the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction".

Got home. Couldn't resist again reading print-out of Peerooz's email. Beginning to feel depressed. What's with the email anyway? So impersonal. Would it have KILLED him to call me on the phone? I rewind my memory bank to that night at Sling Nightclub. Yes, I am correct. He DID say he would call. He even said it another time in fArssi "Zangett meezanam". Email ro ke nemeeshe zang zad, misheh? Oh boy if I am thinking in fArssi I must be really over-thinking this. Hate this modern technology. Can save a guy a lot of humiliation. You're pretty much protected when you send an email. You can say exactly what you want and NOTHING more than you intend. No voice getting weak, no sweaty palms. Kind of takes the fun out of the girl's part doesn't it? Oh well, important thing must focus on: "I have a date for this weekend and I have and I have and I have...Ohhhh Baaaabbyyyy I haaaavvvee...I have A DATE! (playing air guitar while standing on my bed wearing only my Scooby-Doo T-shirt and matching socks) For this WEEKEND!"

5:55 p.m.
Still leaves me with one problem. How do I respond? What is the correct etiquette (netiquette?) Call Manny.

6:25 p.m.
Manny says "Screw Him!" She is outraged by this email date-asking. She tells me she knows the type, he is just a "playa". His email sends the message he is not at all excited or respectful of me, and this right off the bat. He has delineated the boundaries. "You are my email buddy, informal, easy to access, you don't need courting or charm." He is saying, "Just a couple of computer bytes and you will come crawling to me." Is that what he meant by that? Must be! I got it all wrong. Manny's right what a jerk! Screw him! First thing tomorrow I am going to fire off a very bitchy email to him!

Wednesday September 21

9:01 a.m.
Have sent Peerooz following message:

"Sounds lovely, looking forward to it!"

There! Bitchy enough?

Friday: September 23

5:35 p.m.
Rush home to check my answering machine: hasn't called yet. Great! Have time to take nice shower, wash and condition hair with peach-smelling swiss product. Maybe will be message waiting for me after.

5:55 p.m.
Good, I can moisturize entire body and pluck all unsightly facial hair. As for the hair on my head, roll them up and proceed to blowdry to Christie Brinkley perfection (if she was a brunette). Sound of blow-dryer pretty intense. Won't hear phone ring but that's okay, maybe will be message waiting for me after I'm done.

7:13 p.m.
Still hasn't called. Check receiver to make sure I didn't forget to pay my phone bill.

8:21 p.m.
Ring: Woo-hoo!

8:25 p.m.
Damn it! Was only Nance reminding me about Hossein's party Sunday. Yeah, great whatever!

9:16 p.m.
Getting hungry but don't want to spoil appetite for dinner. Run down to Gristede's to get a bag of chips just to hold me off. Maybe will be message waiting for me when I get back.

9:30 p.m.
Got a pack of Junior mints instead (wouldn't hurt the breatch factor) Woo-hoo message light flicking when I get back.

9: 45 p.m.
Screw him! Screw him! Screw him! Damn hound from hell! Message was from Manny's. Sounded worried. Wondering whether Peerooz called me yet. As her message played, my other line came on and I switch eagerly but it was Manny again.

-- "He hasn't called has he?"

-- "(Sigh)... He will...H e told me he would."

-- "Naz, come out with me and Bruce we are going to check out..."

-- "You know that's really sweet maybe we'll join you there later but I can't leave right now."

Silence on the other line.

-- "Manny? You there hon?"

Manny finally bursts angrily (it's freaky how much she sounds like my mom when she gets this way):

-- "My dear Nazanin, I see now I was very right to get you that sweet-sixteen diary since you insist on acting like a teen-age twit. Ciao."

The line goes dead. It takes me a few seconds to realize what she has said and I burst into tears.

9:55 p.m.
I had to take out that email print-out and read it again. Hey, wait a minute! I wipe away my tears. He DID say he would take me out this "weekend". Well, that means I have a whole two days to look forward to!

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