I don't know about you guys but whenever I'm with other Iranians
we always end up talking about Iranian politics. Here are some
funny, sad, interesting, weird and very true comments about the
"Before the revolution we used to pray at home
and drink [alcohol] outside. Now we drink at home and pray outside."
"These second generation Iranians think going
to Iran is about eating Noon Barbari; it's more fucked up than
"Before the revolution, grave robbers stole
dead people's shroud. These days
they steal the shroud AND shove a stick up the dead's
ass." [The Shah
was bad; the new rulers are a lot worse.]
"The 5-Toman coin is the biggest liar: 'Azaadi,
Esteglaal, Jomhouriyeh Islaami' (Freedom, Independence, Islamic
"Before the revolution we had the Shahre-No
red light district, now brothels are in every street."
"The Revolution? It changed nothing, we still
have poverty, corruption and political unrest."
"In the Shah's time, it was about knowing
people in the military. Now it's about knowing people in the
regular army, Basij, Revolutionary Guards, Police, vice sqauds, and mollas."
"We had a puppet regime; we've still got a
puppet regime. The difference is we were living well before."
"The Revolution didn't affect North Tehran."
"Why is it that all politics is run
by a small minority in Tehran?"
"In 1975 they asked my father where he was
from. He held his head up and said, 'Iran' with pride. At New
JFK airport these days, they gave you a full body check if
you've got an Iranian passport."
"Iranians in Britain blame Jimmy Carter, Iranians
in America blame Britain, Iranians in Canada blame both."
"Average beard length increased after
"I don't know what to do anymore. Here they
call us FOB terroists, and back home they call us Gharb-Zadeh (Westernized)."
"I'm Iranian but I live in America. My home
is neither America nor Iran. I'm so lost."
"Us second generation Iranians are so screwed.
We speak Persian with an English accent and English with a
Persian accent. Let's
appeal to the UN for a home for all Westernised-Iranians."
"HAHAHAAH, the American ambassador to Iran in
1978 had an Iranian name, Cyrus, ironic huh?" [Untrue!]
"There are great differences between Irooni
girls raised in North Tehran and L.A. The ones in L.A.
are more Iranian."
"During the revolution they killed high-ranking
officers in the Shah's army. In the next revolution they're going
to kill anyone
and anything related to the mollas. They're going to drag
the fucking mollas in the streets with their turbans tied
around their testicals, thrash their asses with
chains used on Ashura, rip their dirty beards, whip
according to the number of times they took bribes, dip
their turbans in acid, put it on their bleeding backs, and then
trees along Vali-Asr Avenue,
after castrating their bullocks and making them eat them,
while mumbling 'Long Live the Shah'."