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Selected short notes July 2002 * What people read July 31, 2002 * What people read I was talking to someone who's in the publishing business in Iran. I asked what are the bestsellers these days? Apparently one is a book about Reza Shah's wife and another about Zoroastrianism. July 31, 2002 * He ate my rights Overheard in an American court from a witness of Iranian nationality: "He ate my rights!" (Haghamo khord!) July 31, 2002 * Colors
July 30, 2002 * A good idea that needs to end One day, my friend V took her camcorder to Tehran's new subway system. She went inside the train and started interviewing passengers about their feelings on the new subway system. She noticed a man, in his thirties, standing next to a whole bunch of little children. Obviously they could not have all been his. V turned the camera on him and asked his impressions. He explained how it was his day off and thought it would be a good idea to take neighbourhood children to see what the "metro" is. V applauded him and asked what was their destination? Nowhere, he replied. They had been on the train since morning, and just kept riding from one end of the subway line to the other, and then back again. A close up of the camera on the children recorded somewhat of a stifled enthusiasm -- the novelty and excitement of the experience had warn off. When V got off at her station, they still kept going. July 30, 2002 * Old news One of the headlines in the news today: "Man Shot Dead over Heaven and Hell Argument" July 29, 2002 * Film Farsi Another likable mobtazal (!) film. Back then life was easy and cheap and girls around the school were naaznaaz-ing! Going to movies instead of school was one of our bad habits. No matter what film, afternoons was movie time. Director Reza Safaie used to make a film every 4 weeks (like chelokabab). Hossein Vasseghie, was making aabakee music for singers and later for films, among them, some extremeley beautiful melodies (kaafar)! He used to be a watchmaker and didn't know anything about music notes. So he used to hum the music and let his orchestra play it. -- Mahmoud July 29, 2002 * Zan va mard Heard at the Pub Friday night: "Zan comes from 'zendegee' and mard comes from 'mordan'." July 29, 2002 * Enough is enough I heard the funniest thing this morning while driving to university [in Sydney]: A 115-year-old man committed suicide. My god... I could hardly control the wheel, I was laughing so hard. He must have been in a damn good shape. Apparently, he hung himself. July 28, 2002 * Essmeh in khoshkeleh chieh? My friend V spent 4 months in Iran last summer and came back with hours of video footage from her trip. Once she went to a remote village where it looked like time had stood still for the past thousand years. The locals didn't know what V's camcorder was and thought it was a still-photo
camera. So they kept standing motionless in front of the camera despite V
telling them they can move and talk to the camera. July 28, 2002 * Aksamo varrrrrrrrrr daar I woke up this morning and checked my phone messages. There was one: Leila and Reza together singing Parivash's "Akaasbaashi" -- emphasizing the part where she says "aksamo varrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr daar". July 28, 2002 * All done imagine lots of paper July 27, 2002 * Teach me poetry Hamid K told me this story: I asked [a famous poet] whether he had met anyone interesting while he was being held in Evin Prison? The poet said yes, he had. While in prison, he was told to shave his beard (because he was an "infidel") and wash the toilet used by the revolutionary guards -- with his hands. One day, as he was washing the toilet, someone tapped him on the shoulder. -- "You claim to be a poet?" the boyish revolutionary guard asked. -- "Some think I am." -- "I'll offer you a deal. If you accept, you can grow a beard and won't have to wash the toilet anymore." -- "What kind of a deal?" -- "Teach me poetry." The poet did not have high literary expectations from the young fundamentalist Muslim. But he accepted and taught him about various types of poetry and the works of famous poets. After a few sessions the poet asked the guard whether he had written any poetry? The guard brought some of his work. The poet was amazed. The young man was a very good poet. But there was just one problem. -- "What's the problem?" -- "You have to become an infidel." -- "What do you mean?" -- "You write poetry very well, but it's all about religion and religious figures. You have to come down to earth a little. Write about people and love and..." A couple of months later the guard said he was going on vacation and would be back in three weeks. Weeks passed, but the guard had not come back to Evin. The poet asked another guard what had happened. "He did not go on vacation," the guard answered. "He went to the war front and was martyred." The poet recalled how he had cried for the young guard -- more than he had following the death of his closest friends. July 26, 2002 * Cheese ball I was driving with my mother. I asked her whether she liked Elvis when she was young. And she was like, "Elvis? Elvis was a cheese ball! I liked Janice Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix and..." I was in total shock. July 25, 2002 * Attention I was in the car with my daughter Mahdiyeh, driving in northern Virginia. She had just started to live with me, after growing up in Iran with her mother. We were talking about women. I expressed interest in someone and Mahdiyeh responded, very gently, "You're a great father, and everything, but... women need attention." July 24, 2002 * Pride I was standing on a sidewalk in downtown Ankara behind a few people waiting to get cash from a bank machine. It was early in the morning. Shops were just opening. Right next to the bank there was a box with a glass frame. It belonged to a short, one-legged street vendor on crotches. He was focused and ready for business. But first he began to clean the cracked glass frame, carefully and patiently with a wet piece of cloth. It was as if he was shining a Ferrari. July 23, 2002
* Bobby Sands "At one point I became so skinny, my friends in Tehran called me 'Bobby Sands'," said a lady friend of mine. In 1980-81 Bobby Sands was a big celebrity in Iran. He and his Irish Republican Army co-inmates were on a hunger strike against Britain's policies in Northern Ireland. Iranian media were having a field day condemning Margaret Thatcher's government and praising the hunger strikers. When Sands died after refusing food for 66 days, he was hailed as a hero in many countries. The Iranian government changed the name of a street adjacent to the British embassy in Terahn from Churchill Street to Bobby Sands Street. July 22, 2002 * Reborn An Iranian woman in the Washington DC area invited her friends to her home. When friends arrived, they saw the host lying down in an open coffin. She rose and declared herself reborn. July 22, 2002 * Measure A friend has recently moved to San Francico. She's considering moving to Berkeley some day. She asked about the Iranian community here. I said they are very friendly, kind, down to earth, very much into the arts and open-minded. She nodded and said, "If you got sick, would they call you to see how you're doing?" July 19, 2002 * Visual interpretation
iTunes has an option which creates strange shapes based on whatever you're listening to on your computer. Here's its visual interpretation of a Fereydoun Foroughi song I was listening to late at night. (You need QuickTime to be able to watch it.). July 18, 2002 * Khosh khaab Why am I so tired? I know WHY but why this much? Anyhow, I decided to take an afternoon nap. Then I had a strange dream: I was at Nersi and Bella's house here in Berkeley. So were Mohammad Reza Shah and his wife, Farah. They were getting ready to entertain some guests outside in the patio. I was just hanging around, watching them. It felt like we had met before. More than that, like we were close acquaintances. The Shah looked good and fit. And happy, and excited. But he was worried that there wasn't any bread to go with the food. Farah told him not to worry. She had bought some bread. It was true; I had seen her put some lavaash on a plate. It was dark already. We sat on the wooden benches. I sat very khodemooni, one leg tucked under the other. I know, I was hanging out with royalty and ignoring basic etiquette. But they didn't seem to mind. They were very nice. The Shah said something like, "I don't get your thing any more." I thought he had stopped getting the iranian.com emails. "Aren't you receiving it? Strange. I did have your email address on the list. I'll chek it," I said. But then he added that he was receiving the emails, but had not had time lately to read the articles. I was itching to tell him that I was sorry how much I hated him. And that I was glad that he was not as evil as once thought. But the main thing I wanted to tell him was that, despite all that, I still hoped that the monarchy would not be restored. I was going to be very honest and sincere about how I thought. But everyone was in such a good mood. The weather was so lovely, you could smell the beautiful flowers, the grass, the trees... and the food. And my daughter Mahdiyeh was lying on the bench, with her head on the Shah's lap, all cozy and comfy. The time wasn't right to be "honest" with His Majesty. Maybe if the dream had lasted a little longer, I would have said something... *** That will be a lesson. I should not take a nap after eating Gordo's burrito. July 18, 2002 * 2 rooz bihejab
July 17, 2002 * Hozeh mooseeqee ... Gaah tanhaayee, sooratash raa be pase panjareh meechasbaaneed -- Purple Noon July 17, 2002 * Kangaroo I heard this story at a party last night. True story. A couple of guys go into the Austraian wilderness. As they are driving, their Jeep hits a kangaroo. Instead of driving away, they decide to take some pictures with the dead animal. The driver takes off his safari jacket, shades and baseball cap and puts them on the kangaroo. As they are taking pictures, the kangaroo regains consciousness and runs away, taking with him the car keys which were in the driver's jacket. July 16, 2002 * Glad I was not stabbed ... a very unpleasent thing happened to me a week or so ago and I have been generally run down with tonsillitis, then a bad cold, having no energy whatsoever and , and... Basically I was mugged a minute away from my doorstep a couple of weeks ago and it really shook me up for a while. Two black girls got out of a car (I thought they were being dropped off) then walked towards me and before I knew it one of them wrenched my handbag from my shoulder (which had EVERYTHING in it) I fell to the ground whilst the second one went for a carrier bag in my other hand (which had some bread in it from Samarqand!). It was just before 12pm and there were not many people around, although this ... is a supposedly safe area (I don't know if there is any such thing any more). They got away in the car but not before I had swore at them at the top of my voice! Anyhow I am just glad that I was not stabbed or anything... it is only material things that I lost and it does not matter. I am pissed off about losing my phone book and all the numbers in my mobile however... I am much more careful these days and I don't carry much with me anymore. The good news is that we have had an offer on our flat which we accepted and the sale should go though in a few weeks time hopefully. My sister has found a nice flat which she is buying, I have not as yet... Just wearing myself out flat hunting every free minute I have... maybe that is why I am run down. ... I am honestly just tired of working at the moment and can't face coming into the office every day. I need a change and I need a looooooooonnnng break. But such is life and I count my blessings... Big hug, -- Shooks July 14, 2002 * Peyvand
I shot this 30-second video of Peyvand Khorsandi outside the home of my brother Roger Javid and his wife Setareh Sabety in Middletown, Maryland, June 1, 2002. He didn't know I was filming. (You need QuickTime to be able to watch it.). July 14, 2002 * Happy anniversary everybody celebrates the birth of their blog around here...
i guess i should too! my
blog is one month old today and still in the milk phase...
it still doesn't respond to many things and it can't sit... but it has a tight grip
and it smiles sometimes and cries sometimes and gets super excited... being a new
blogger sometimes i'm really not sure how to deal with it and calm it down... but
i guess it's doing ok... maybe i should vaccinate it... hmmm... for now i'll just
entertain it... -- Shadi Ziaei July 13, 2002 * Zendegi A great mind recently came up with these words to describe life: "Zendeghi movaghat, mozakhraf, va mofasal ast." [life is temporary, terrible and too long]. Especially for us I-ranians. -- M. Dadsetan PS: The great mind is my mother, Fatemeh Najafi. She always comes up with funny bits that are enlightening. I will send more as they come along. July 12, 2002 * "Boland Goos" I demonstrated with two dozen Iranians in front of the IRI embassy in Paris in favor of 18 tir anniversary and Democracy for Iran. Singing the National anthem "Ey Iran Marzeh Porgohar" and shouting down with the Islamic Republic through "Boland Goos", shaking "the Shiro Khorsheed" flag and asking the embassy staff to join us. It was pathetic and funny. Pathetic because we were a very small mob of very old and very young people and funny because that is precisely why we caught attention of all the tourists and French people who asked us what all this hocus pocus was about and took pamphletes which we distributed. There were more police busses around the embassy than demonstrators. Iranians in Paris are a dissapointment, more people could have showed up, since it was Friday night and the demonstration took place from17:30 to 21:00. The body guards from the embassy were laughing their heads off as they passed us in their dark limousines. Pity I didn't have some rotten eggs to throw at their cars. Well we were certainly a small drop, but they say small drops turn into oceans. Lets hope so ... Regards, July 12, 2002 * Loud I was driving in the car. The radio was playing one of my favorite songs. I tried to turn the volume up. But the knob wouldn't turn. It was already on maximum. July 11, 2002 * Tehran-no in Seoul
The area around Gangnam ("Gangnam" means south of the river) Station (subway) represents the social center for the area south of the Han River and also the one of the busiest areas of Seoul. One main reason is that the subway station is at the junction of the Green (#2) and Blue (#4) lines, making it a convenient meeting place from almost any place in Seoul. The area also forms the entryway to Tehran-no, Korea's concentration of high technology venture firms and Internet start-ups. Many workers from there can easily come here after work (if they ever stop working) and hangout with friends. -- Ahmad Vaziri July 11, 2002 * Glasses My face in the mirror, -- HK July 10, 2002 * Getting married a.s.a.p. Jahanshah aziz, I did not want to tell you this over email but since you don't answer your phone these days.... sigh... Okay here goes: You have guessed right: I am getting married! It is a total utter shock but wonderful. His name is T, he works in my office. We met in January when I started working here and became friends. Gradually our feelings started to become stronger for each other. Finally on June 3, he told me how he feels and whether I want to "take it to the next level". That I did!!! Last week, on our 1 month anniversary, he proposed and I said yes. We are crazy fools in love and so, we decided to get married a.s.a.p. In other words, the date is set: August 31!!! I really hope you and Mahdiyeh joon are free to come. I want to get your mailing address so that I can send you an invite but I am putting you on notice as of today!!! I hope I get to talk to you on the phone: I am going to call you tomorrow and please pick up the phone! Ghorboonet beram D :o) July 10, 2002 * At least I was over at a couple's house last night for dinner. Bah bah... there was zereshk polo with chicken, khoreshte kadoo (did you know the correct word is "khoresh" and not "khoresht"?), a zesty salad and... the apartment felt warm and cozy. Organic. Filled with works of art, all in the right places. Tasteful. There were two candles on the dinner table. One of them had melted to almost nothing. I couldn't light it. "Since there's only one God, we're going to have only one candle," I joked. "There are AT LEAST two gods in this household," said the wife. And she lit a fresh candle. July 9, 2002 * Lost battle With deepest regret I have to inform you that on Sunday (July 7th) at 3:44 A.M.
(PST), my cousin, Ardeshir
Edalat, lost the battle to his ailment. -- Ari Jahanian July 9, 2002 * I was 5 Can you believe I was in those rallies and demonstrations [during the 79 revolution]? I remember we used to collect the coke bottles and soap for my dad and uncle to make Molotov Cocktails. I was 5 at the time. Guess I was brainwashed. No, we all were!! -- ML July 6, 2002 * Proud, for a change Behnam Nateghi interviewed me for Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty's Persian service (listen here. Fastforward to 17 minutes and 50 seconds). It turned out really well. It actually made me feel proud. I just had a hard time accepting that the guy who was talking was me. July 6, 2002 * Ta 1 saate dige bidar va hattal maghdur online hastam Email sent to iranian.com: FORI FORI FORI BA SALAM BE JENABE HAMIDE SHABKHIZ VA KOLIYE KARKONANE TELEVIZIUNE IRAN, DARGOZASHTE HONARPISHE MAHBOOBE JAMEEYE PISHKESVATE HONARI IRAN "JAMSHID MEHRDAD" RA DAR ENZEVAYE KAMEL BE ETTELAE SHOMA VA SAYERE HAMVATANANAM MIRESANAM, MARASEME KHAKSEPARI ANMARHUM DOSHANBE PASFARDA 1381/4/17 DAR BEHESHTE ZAHRAYE TEHRAN BARGOZAR MISHAVAD. LOTFAN BE ETTELAE HAM MIHANAN VA KHANEVADEYE ISHAN DAR USA VA FARANCE BERESANID. besyar dust dashtam ke dar avalin tamasam ba shoma khabarhaye khosh bedaham vali afsoos... shomareye telephone man ra jahate chek kardane khabar chenanche khastid lotfan
bevasileye E-Mail bande harche zud tar befarmaeeid . ta 1 saate dige bidar va hattal
maghdur online hastam. bargharar va payande bashid. July 6, 2002 * Good wine There were only 4 of us left at the dinner table, sipping on red wine and listening
to A's stories about his many business trips to France. July 5, 2002 One of the most beautiful places
This is Zarivar Park in Sanandaj, Kurdistan [Quiz: Baa Safaa]. I've been there once, on vacation, three or four years ago. It's one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. :-) What's interesting is that they told me that in 1998, they used that big screen to project the World Cup games live, for people to watch. The park would fill up on summer nights with people that had come to watch the games. I thought it was interesting. I don't know if they did that for this year's games, I'm in the U.S. and haven't been able to ask about it. They also use it to show movies on friday nights. And when you stand on top of the hill in the park, you can see the whole city of Sanadaj lit up, tranquil and beautiful with its city lights. The park has a small entrance fee. July 4, 2002 AKA khodam I've had my share of articles in iraniann.com written under different names. Here are some off the top of my head. (Don't laugh at the poem. I know it's bad -- that's why I published it under a different name. But it was heartfelt.) * The entire Haqshenas/Bayat series, "Maa
EEneem" July 3, 2002 Double Life of Veronique I don't really know if this would fit in to your"shorts" section (which by the way I like a lot! It is kinda like an extended version of "Stuff") Anyways here goes: It's 6:06 p.m. I am at work, sitting at my computer, deep in thought, working on an asylum case. Suddenly, my mom storms in (where did she appear from???) brandishing an object in her hand. "Niki, mitooni resuma-mo az in disk print koni yaa agar busy hassti begam be Fariba print koneh." No hi. No how are you. I didn't even know she was in the office. I have a slight suspicion she may not even have stopped by to acknowledge her presence were it not that she wants something from me. I take the object she is handing me wondering what the hell she is talking about. I look at the object and realize it is a CD: Not just a CD but my long lost Double Life of Veronique movie soundtrack!!! I was wondering where it went. It takes me a few seconds to realize she thought this CD is a diskette and she was saving her resume on it. I bought her a laptop a couple of weeks ago because she claims she needed one to "work on her stuff". I am glad the money did not go to waste. :o) July 2, 2002 Odd -- A couple of days ago a fire truck drove by my apartment. I heard the siren as I was working. I leaned over to the right of my chair, to let it pass. -- In 1985 I worked as a journalist at the IRNA news agency office in London's Leicester Square, before it moved to Wembley. When we sent news to Tehran via telex, we wrote this on top: "From IRNA London, To IRNA Tehran." I was a practicing Muslim back then. One afternoon I got ready to do my prayers. I went into one of the rooms, closed the door, placed the prayer mat on the floor and raised my hands to my ears. I said, "From IRNA London..." -- The police are very strict about wearing your seat belt while driving. Every time I get into my car, I immediately fasten my seat belt. A few years ago when I lived in Albany hills, here across the San Francisco Bay, I woke up one day and sat on my chair in front of the computer. With my left hand, I reached for the imaginary seat belt. -- Once I was flipping through a book. I wetted by left thumb and flipped the page with my right. -- I had just bought my first electric toothbrush. I couldn't figure out how to start brushing without getting tooth paste flying all over my face. Ah! I had to turn on the electric brush AFTER I put it in my mouth. July 2, 2002 Shangineh I forgot who told me this joke... please remind me.
July 1, 2002 Shekoofeh doozi "I spoke to PT today... She said her friends in Tehran had become really weird lately. One of them, who's from a religious family, recently had a child out of wedlock, without her parents ever finding out. She was fat so she could hide her pregnancy. Then she said she's going in for 'Shekoofeh doozi'. Guess what 'Shekoofeh doozi' is... Sowing the pardeh... hymen. Baavaret meesheh?" -- Mahdiyeh Javid July 1, 2002 Where I buried the GUNS An old man lived alone in Palestine. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it
was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in an Israeli prison.
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