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Selected short notes

* Moving
*
Chicken soup
*
Dasht-e Parvaneh
* Born in Iran? No visa for you
* Chilling effect
* Born in Iran? No visa for you
* Chilling effect
* Deep sleep
* Headline
* Point of view
* Beautiful
* Compare and contrast
*
Arabic teacher
* Khosh Amadi
* Announcing the arrival of Dareya (sp?)
* Zzzz
* Khosh Amadi
* Announcing the arrival of Dareya (sp?)
* Zzzz
* On the edge
* Taraneh
* Dead and alive
* Dressing up for Khomeini
* Man & woman
* Ammeh & the dog
* Jesus, Hitler and the Cold War
* The wonderful Simpsons
* HAD to be there
* Sedaa-yash ro dar nayaar
* To the point
* America's Ashura
*
September 11, 2002
* America's Ashura
*
September 11, 2002
* Largest American flags
* Full military gear
* Lady in red
* Sirjan mon amour
* Mississippi mules
* Vilin
* Time to heal
* Zinat Javid
*
Okayeh

To top

September 30, 2002

* Moving

My mother before leaving for Spain early Sunday morning:

"I don't know where I'm going. But it's better than knowing where I am."

To top

September 30, 2002

* Chicken soup

When I was in New York, I got sick one day and didn't go to work. I heard the door bell around noon. It was my colleague from Iran Business Monitor, Majid Zarafshan, with a bag full of groceries. He chopped a variety of fresh vegetables and cooked the tastiest chicken soup. I was deeply touched by his kindness.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 30, 2002

* Dasht-e Parvaneh

According to locals, Dasht-e Parvaneh (Butterfly Plains) near Kelardasht, is full of butterflies at a certain season. Many of the butterflies have black wings with a red dot on the back end of each wing.

-- Javaneh Khodabakhsh

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September 27, 2002

* Born in Iran? No visa for you

Dear Mr. Javid,

I've read your note on the G2K site [Chilling effect], and wished to share with you the apprehensions which you have regarding the new US visa regulations concerning people from the Middle East, and especially from rogue and "evil" states, such as Iran and Iraq.

Two Iranian Jews, who have immigrated to Israel from Iran some time ago and have been victims of Palestinian terror, have been refused entery into the USA after being invited by Iranian Jewish American citizens.

In another case, a professor from Bar Ilan University in Israel, who was just three-years old when his parents decided to immigrate from Iran to Israel, has been refused entry into the USA although, he was invited by an American University to deliver a lecture.

Moreover, few days ago I read that the ex-chief of staff of the IDF, Maj-General (ret.) Shaul Mofaz, who is now a citizen, has been detained for some time at a U.S. airport only because he was born in Iran (which he left at the age of 9) and in spite of the fact that in his official capacity he has been to the USA on numerous occasions.

I just wanted to let you know that this phenomenon has a much wider range. Being born in Iran, I believe that I'll be encountering similar problems when I'll be next wishing to visit the US.

Sincerely,

Dr. Soli Shahvar
Dept. of Middle Eastern History
Haifa University
Mount Carmel
Haifa 31905, Israel

To top

September 27, 2002

* Chilling effect

To Gulf2000 members:

You may have heard that last week in Paris, Abbas Kiarostami was refused a U.S. visa to attend the screening of his new film at a New York film festival.

Today an Iranian radio station in Los Angeles reported that Pop singer Googoosh, who lives in Canada, has cancelled her concert in Los Angeles this weekend because she has been unable to get a U.S. visa.

These two particular cases are probably due to the new visa regulations enforced at U.S. missions abroad. And they may eventually be able to sort the problem out. Nevertheless it has a chilling effect.

There aren't many other Iranian artists who are as famous as Kiarostami and Googoosh. And when something like this happens to them, virtually every Iranian hears about it.

There's a feeling among many Iranians in America -- even those who live in the very liberal San Francisco area, as I do -- that things are really tightening up for "Islamic-looking" people. Unwelcome may be the wrong word, but these days they are often treated with instant mistrust.

Arab-Americans must be feeling much worse. And the the way things are going, we aint seen nothin yet.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 25, 2002

* Deep sleep

I dreamt I was lying in an operating room and being injected with an anesthetic that completely knocked me out. I've never slept so well.

-- Javaneh Khodabakhsh

To top

September 25, 2002

* Headline

Forwarded by several people:

In a New York park, a young boy was attacked by a savage dog. A passer by happened to see that and came to the rescue. Having tackled the vicious dog, he strangled it to death.

A reporter for the local New York paper was watching all this and took snap shots for a front-page picture in the next day's paper.

Approaching our hero he says: "Your heroic feat shall be published in tomorrow's paper under the headline "Brave New Yorker rescues boy".

"I'm not from New York", replied our brave hero. "Oh in that case we'll change the headline - Brave American rescues boy from savage dog".

"I'm not American either", replied our brave hero. On being asked about who he really is our hero replied:

"I'm a Pakistani".

The next day the headline on the front page of New York paper said: "Muslim Fundamentalist strangles dog to death in New York park. FBI investigating possible link to Al-Qaeda."

To top

September 25, 2002

* Point of view

Forwarded by several people:

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching.

To top

September 25, 2002

* Beautiful

I've been thinking of starting a new iranian.com section for gathering anything I find particularly beautiful. Like the Vespa motorcycle. Or the new Thunderbird. Or Dolce & Gabbana fashion items (I saw a bag of theirs advertised in GQ; gorgeous). Then Mahzad Seif recommended paintnings by her art teacher in college, Joe Remillard.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 23, 2002

* Compare and contrast

I was invited to lunch yesterday. My host had seen this AFP photo in The New York Times and noticed its similarities with this famous painting by Goya.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 23, 2002

* Arabic teacher

Heard from Leila Farjami:

When I was in junior high school in Iran, we had a teacher who taught Arabic. She was supposed to teach us Arabic. But every time she came to class she would only talk about her problems at home and how much she hated her husband.

To top

September 21, 2002

* Khosh Amadi

-- Abbas Atrvash

To top

September 18, 2002

* Announcing the arrival of Dareya (sp?)

First email from Kambiz Foroohar:

Kambiz and Rana are proud, relieved, ecstatic, delighted to announce the arrival of Dareya (sp?) Foroohar on September 16 at 6:40 pm. Unlike his father who is usually tardy, Dareya, weighing 7 pounds and half an ounce, came 12 days early but not without a long labour.

Both Rana and Dareya are doing well.

Best regards,

K R D

Second email from Kambiz Foroohar:

Folks: Am I in trouble. Dareya is a beautiful little girl. Sorry for the confusion... Her daddy is a little sleep deprived!!! That's my defense and I'm sticking to it. Many thanks for your kind emails. Hope to see most of you soon.

K D R

To top

September 20, 2002

* Zzzz

David Letterman had a bit on his TV show. He was showing the covers for "new textbooks". One of them was Understanding Russian Literature. He opened the book and there was a pillow inside.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 19, 2002

* On the edge

Heard from Reza in San Francisco:

At work there's a Muslim guy from Pakistan. He's been in America for 20 years. He doesn't take shit from anyone.

A few days ago he was picking up his pay check. A co-worker (White man with thick mid-western accent) joked, "Hey, what are you gonna do with that money? Gonna go to a ball game? Or are you send it to your wife and kids in PAK-KEES-TAN?" and chuckled.

The Muslim guy went up close, grabbed the guy's collar with his pinky and said (with a thick Pakistani accent), "Listen you mother fucker. You think I came to this country yesterday? I know more about Baseball than you do. I''ll shove a baseball bat right up your ass."

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 19, 2002

* Taraneh

I met Taraneh Hemaami today at her art exhibit in San Francisco. Her "Hall of Reflections" -- an archive of photographs and text from Iranian-Americans displayed on mirrors and glass -- is brilliantly conceived and beautifully displayed. The reflections suggest that each person's experiences are shared by all, in one way or another.

Later we had kabab and zereshkpolo at Alborz resaturant. Here's 30 seconds of Taraneh >>> video clip (AVI format, 7.1 mbytes. Need QuickTime to see it)

-- Jahanshah Javid

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September 19, 2002

* Dead and alive

I should have written this note much earlier. By now I only have faint recollection of a strange dream I had a few months ago. The clearest part I remember was being shot several times. And I remember that I didn't die. Then, did I grow a new body, or shed the old? Something along those lines.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 16, 2002

* Man & woman

Mother talking to her daughter in the film "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (not an exact quote):

The man is the head of the family. But the woman is the neck -- she can turn the head any direction she wants.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 16, 2002

* Ammeh & the dog

We were walking toward the entranceway to my building in Los Angeles when a dog came leaping towards us. Ammeh jumped backwards letting out a loud cry. The dog's owner materialized and with a big grin assured us:

"Don't worry, he's very friendly."

"But I'm not!" quipped Ammeh.

-- Niki Tehranchi

To top

September 13, 2002

* Jesus & Hitler & the cold war

Last night Reza Zia Ebrahimi translated jokes by French comedian, Coluche. Not exact quotes.

Thank God Jesus died on the cross. If they had drowned him in the sea, we would be putting a bucket of water above our bed.

***

-- Himmler: Let's invade Switzerland tomorrow morning.
-- Hitler: What should we do in the afternoon?

***

Anti-communist jokes

* In the Soviet Union every one had a TV. But instead of you watching the TV, the TV watched you.

* In communist Poland, you couldn't drink and drive -- because there weren't any cars.

* In communist Poland, a sandwich consisted of two bread coupons with a ham coupon in the middle.

* In communist Poland, they weren't allowed to water the plants -- because it would bust the microphones.

* Yuri Gagarin was the unluckiest Russian. He was the first man to orbit the earth -- and land right back in the Soviet Union.

* In Moscow they have invented a dental device that goes through your ass to your mouth and pulls out teeth. Why don't they pull teeth througth the mouth? Because Soviets keep their mouth shut.

* In the Soviet Union, TVs were equipped with wipers -- because viewers spat at it during the news.

* In the Soviet Union, you couldn't spit on the street. It was forbidden to talk about politics in public areas.

* A Polish man became a millionaire selling "WE'RE OUT OF MEAT" signs.

* Switzerland can never become communist because it's too small for such a large catastrophe.

To top

September 13, 2002

* The wonderful Simpsons

Heard watching old episodes of "The Sipmsons" at Reza and Leila's place in San Francisco. Not exact quotes.

* Church minister: Marge made me realize that there's more to being a minister than not caring about people.

* Vietnamese talking on the phone: "Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Hi... Bye!"

* Zoo keeper reacting to man caught in cage full of rabid baboons: "If the animals don't kill the intruder, it would be real bad for their society."

To top

September 12, 2002

* HAD to be there

Our home in Abadan was close to the Braim swimming pool. But the most popular pool was in Sehgoosh. That's where most of my friends went. It was bigger. It had a higher diving board (see an after Iraqi war photo). And there was a good chance my sweetheart, Hengameh, was going to be there.

The problem was that I didn't have the 15 rials (about a nickle at the time) to hire a taxi. It was hot as hell, and the pool was a 15-minute drive away. But I had to go. I HAD to be there.

I was about 13 at the time. I put on my thick towel robe and slippers and started to walk to the pool. Five minutes under the hot sun, with my feet burning on the sidewalk asphalt, and cars honking, I knew what I was doing was crazy. But getting there was too important.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 12, 2002

* Sedaa-yash ro dar nayaar

From SSG: "Sedaa-yash ro dar nayaar, ke Osama yek bomb ham baraa-ye maa mifresteh!" (Don't talk about this or else Osama will send us a bomb too!)

One of the earliest recorded proposals for the solution of the problem of a homeland for the Jews in the Diaspora, is a recorded conversation between Nasser-ed-Din Shah and Baron de Rothschild on the occasion of the Shah's visit to France in July of 1873.

Rothschild speaks to the Shah in behalf of the interests of the Jews of Persia and receives an assurance from the Shah that they are a protected minority in Persia, but then the Shah also proposes a solution to their lack of a homeland, which takes Rothschild somewhat by surprise.

Forty three years later, Lord Rothschild, from the English branch of the family, will be instrumental for just such a solution , but along different lines than those suggested by Nasser-ed-Din Shah.

The 1917 solution has come to be known as the Balfour Declaration, proposing a homeland for the Jews in what then was still called Ottoman Palestine. The rest is history!

To top

September 12, 2002

* To the point

Got a two-word email from a stranger:

Be good.

To top

September 11, 2002

* September 11, 2002

Albany, California

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 10, 2002

* Largest American flags

Heard from J.S. in Los Angeles

You see all these houses with American flags? The ones with the largest flags belong to Iranians. It's not because they feel patriotic about America. It's because they want to say "We're not terrorists."

To top

September 10, 2002

* Full military gear

I was at a military check point. There were two guards. While one of them was checking my ID, I noticed the other. She was in full military gear, with a big semi-automatic rifle hanging from her shoulder, across her chest. She was looking at her reflection up close against the guard post window, checking her make-up.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 5, 2002

* Lady in red

How many of you remember the old Lady dressed in red from head to toe who used to go sit in a doorway on the northeast side of Meydune Ferdowsi every day? I was told according to urban legend that she had been doing this for the past 19 years because her lover had been drafted into the army or had had to go away for some such reason and was not sure when he would be free to return so she had promised to wait for him there every day at Medune Ferdowsi, dressed in red so he could spot her right away.

From Brian H. Appleton's "Tales from the zirzameen"

To top

September 5, 2002

* Sirjan mon amour

Heard from S. in Los Angeles:

I have a relative who studied law in France in the 1930s or 40s. He married a French woman and returned to Sirjan -- a small town (much smaller than today) near Kerman. The woman fell in love with Sirjan and refused to live part of the year in France, as her husband suggested. She speaks fluent Farsi -- with a Sirjani accent.

c

To top

September 5, 2002

* Mississippi mules

I was watching a documentary on Afghanistan. They were showing how the U.S. supported its allies there. One form of support was to airlift mules from Mississippi to remote areas of Afghanistan. I felt so sorry for the mules.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 4, 2002

* Vilin

Heard from Mahmoud. I didn't ask about the exact spelling:

I have an Iranian friend in San Francisco. When he was born (in Iran some 45 years ago), his Marxist parents wanted to pick a name that was close to their heart, wihtout revealing their "subversive" views.

They decided on "Vilin", short for Vladimir Ilich Lenin.

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 4, 2002

* Time to heal

It was early in the day. I had the privilege of working with a wonderful family physician in a small town in Vermont for almost two weeks.

He stepped out of his office, accompanying a crying patient through the back door. Despite his effort to conceal the patient and her tears, I saw them. I turned my head to prevent our eyes meeting -- with little success.

Two minutes later, he returned. He told me that the patient was going through some rough times and that he was going to refer her to the psychiatrist next door.

- "Dr [...] is a wonderful psychiatrist. We're lucky to have her around," He said.

- "Refer me to her as well," I said desperately, trying to conceal my own tears. I have been carrying an unbearable amount of grief for four years. He knew the story.

- "What you need," he put his hands over my shoulders, "is time." He smiled and disappeared into his office again.

Not to undermine the value of a good therapist or even a psychiatrist, but sometimes as the old saying goes: Time is the best healer. I've yet to discover that.

-- Gelareh Abedi

* Zinat Javid

Grandmother Zinat Javid, Santa Monica, California, September 1, 2002 >>> Video clip

-- Jahanshah Javid

To top

September 3, 2002

* Okayeh

Friend: "When you first moved to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1996, [so and so] told me to be careful."

Me: "Why?"

Friend: "Because you were a journalist for IRNA (Islamic Republic News Agency) for many years and wroked for Aftab TV in New York, which was funded by the Iranian government. But I told him, 'Nah okayeh... I saw him dressed as a woman at Bella and Nersi's Halloween party'."

-- Jahanshah Javid

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