Masoud Kazemzadeh
by Masoud Kazemzadeh

Humor: Cabinet*


* This is satire. If any of the mentioned posters objects, please let me know and I will delete their name.






Secular Democratic Republic


JJ, Supreme Leader

Ahura, God

Aynak, Minister of Interior (Vazir Keshvar)

P_J, Speaker of Majles

Red Wine, Mayor of Shemiran va homeh

Mehman, Minister of Tourism

Khar, President

Ebi, Rais of the Imam Reza Shrine and its Endowment, Rais Hajj

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan, Imam Jomeh of Mashhad, Deputy Rais to Imam Reza Shrine

Majid, Minister of Wit and Happiness

Fair, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Minister of Defense

Shifteh Ansari, Head of DINA (Democratic Iranian News Agency)

Ghormeh Sabzi, Rais Seda va Sima Melli Iran

Mehrban, Spokeswoman of the Government

Fred, Our ambassador to Israel

Suri, Our Ambassador to Russia

Shazde Asadola Mirza, Minister of Culture, Permanent Representative to San Francisco

Divaneh, Minister of Health

Artificial Intelligence, IT Chief of the country

Amir 1973, our Ambassador to the UN

OnlyIran, Our Ambassador to Iraq

Lale Koopal, Youth Minister

David ET, Founding Father of the Constitution

MM, Representative of M&M in Iran


Yasari, Minister of Literature

Khers, Head of Iran National Zoo

Khaleh Mosheh, Deputy Head of Iran National Zoo

Monda, Minister of Nice and Random Acts of Kindness


Fooladi, Minister of Heavy Industry

Roozbeh Gilani, Head of the Socialist Party in Majles

Hoshang Targol, Head of the other Socialist Party in Majles

R2-D2, Head of Iran NASA

Anahid Hojjati, Our Ambassador to the Democratic Republic of Palestine

Maziar 58, Our Ambassador

to the Democratic

Republic of


Mardom Mazloom, Head of Bonyad Mostazafan, Minister of Social Welfare

escape, Minister of Emigration

Amir1973, Our Ambassador to the UN

Nadia, U.S. Ambassador to Iran

human being, Israeli Ambassador to Iran

rosie, U.S. Ambassador to the UN

Reality Bites, Chair Commission to Prosecute Crimes Against Humanity












Rafsanjani becomes the next Supreme Leader


marhoum kharmagas, Minister of Intelligence

anonymous8, Deputy Minister of Intelligence

Mamad, Chief Nuclear Negotiator

Haji Agha, IRI Ambassador to Canada

Sargord Piroz, Professor of English at Islamic Azad University, New York campus

IMF, Minister of War

Molla, IRI Ambassador to Saudi Arabia,

Mollah’s Shotor, Deputy to IRI Ambassador to Saudi Arabia

Moosir va Piaz, Deputy to Shotor

Azita Shafazand, Minister of band-andazi and Epilation

No Fear, defects to Syria

JalehO, defects to the U.S.

Ahmadinejad, defects to Taliban

Mesbah Yazdi, joins the al Qaeda

nilofar al-farsi, joins al qaeda




Reza Pahlavi becomes King

Dariush Kadivar, Prime Minister

Farah Rusta, SAVAK Chief

comrade, Deputy SAVAK Chief

simorgh5555, Minister of Defense

mahmoudg, Commander, Air Force Surgical Air Strike Command

Fatollah, Mayor of Qom

Benross, Head of Rastakhiz Party, Chairman of the "Office of Mass Extermination of Liberals, Democrats, and Socialists"

Pastor Bill Rennick, U.S. Ambassador to Iran

Shushtari, Mayor of Shustar

seannewyork, Ambassador to the U.S.

Kaveh Parsa, Deputy Prime Minister




more from Masoud Kazemzadeh

Mammad jon

by Souri on

Thank you for the translation ;-)

With the  teacher like you, I will sure pass my TOEFL quickly!!!

Anahid Hojjati

tu aabe Abadan chee bood?

by Anahid Hojjati on

Masoud jan, you are Abadani also? Nemeedonam tu aabe Abadan chee bood ke ma Abadaneeha eenghadar banamak shodeem? Ya shayad az boye nafte.



by Mammad on

Thank you. You are too kind.

As for translating Janbeh dashtaan: I would translate it as "having aspects"!!!!!!



Dear Mammad

by Souri on

See what I meant when I said that I always respect  you, no matter how our political views be different?

Your reaction to this satire is so natural and wise, contrary to some others who jumped on the horse of "revenge " right away and never stop!

Someone should tell them: Take it easy !

This is just for fun. Not a political blog.

Thanks for showing your tolerance and "janbeh dashtan"...How you say it in English?  :-) 


Dr. Kazemzadeh

by Mammad on

While I like my portfolio, I would not serve under Rafsanjani! If Dr. Ahmad Zaydabadi, or Eisa Saharkhiz, or Mostafa Tajzadeh, or Dr. Mohsen Mirdamadi, or Dr. Mohammad Reza Khatami becomes the President, absolutely.

Good humor!


Soosan Khanoom

you guys are so funny ......

by Soosan Khanoom on

you guys are so funny ......  

I have a suggestion ... Please have "Simorgh5555" for a position that best suits him and that is "Khalkhalee" wanna -be .... I am saying that based on his recent comments





by Faramarz on

The minister of Family Values will be a perfect fit for me!

I will hire Al Bundy (Married with Children) as my special advisor to provide guidance!


Questuion, MK

by Reality-Bites on

Can the members of cabinet expect anything in the way of remuneration and/or perks or we expected to carry out our arduous responsibilities just for the love of it?

hamsade ghadimi

mk, funny blog. :)  i

by hamsade ghadimi on

mk, funny blog. :)  i think you're getting better at the funny business. 

some corrections:

jaleho already has defected to the u.s.  she's playing pasoor with ardeshir ommani (permanent president of exiled iranians until iran becomes a communist country) as we speak.

maziar: ambassador to jamaica (under democracy or shahocracy)

ahmadinejad: converts back to judaism after 2 generations of being muslim and relocates to israel in a brand new settlement (under democracy or monarchy).

niloo ye cheshm: minister of propaganda (no matter what regime).

moosir va piaz: deputy minister of propaganda (no matter what regime).

comrade: ambassador to russia (under democracy), ambassador to north korea (under monarchy)


faramarz: minister of family values (under democracy or monarchy)

cost of progress: director of 'sazeman barnameh' (public works) (under democracy or monarchy)

maryam rajavi: re-elected as president of iran and will holds the longest streak of becoming a "president of any country who never gets to live in said country." (no matter what regime) 

mousavi: owner of a cheese factory in wisconsin (under democracy or monarchy)

hamid behbahani: president of 'simorgh online university' presenting phds to students in a 2-week course (cost: $10,000) (under any regime).

kamran daneshjoo: earns his associate degree in 'ghom technical college' (under democracy or monarchy)

mojtaba khamenei: becomes star of reality show 'karbala hills' and briefly dates paris hilton.

whoever becomes mayor of abadan will be the most influential person in iran (if not the world).  divaneh is trying to outsmart everyone here!


Farah Rusta

MK the pleasure is mine! LOL

by Farah Rusta on

Nothing gives me more joy than a good wind up and no one makes a more amusing candidate for a wind up than you Dr MK!

 By the way you have left a few prominent figures out of your cabinet. May I recommend them for the follwong posts:

Fariba Amini: Director of Mossadegh Apologists Council

Setareh Sabety: Adviser to Pernanent PhD Candidates

 And the last but certainly not the least is my dear and multi-talented:

Darius Kadivar: Ambassador Extra Ordinaire to the Court of St. James.


Masoud Kazemzadeh

friends [modified]

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Rais Jomhur Mahboob,

You can appoint anyone to any position you want. [some materials deleted due to the person asking his name be removed] 






Professor Ebi jaan aziz,

Thanks. I will take that offer sometimes.





Divaneh jaan,

With the name like yours and the situations of us, the job assignment was a perfect match. As an Abadani (I was born and raised in Abadan), it would be my honor to have you as MY mayor.

MPD is very creative and brilliant.

Best my friend,




Maziar jaan,

volek, Qatar is today’s Kuwait. OK, you will be our Ambassador to Monaco. We should ask Dariush Kadivar to give you a tour. I hear he is there 24/7. It is nice and a monarchy, unlike that damn republican France.





Shazde jaan,

Sarvar ma hastid. You name the place, and you are our Ambassador or Council General there. Paris, Los Angeles, Hawaii, Italy, Greece.

Highest regards,





Faramarz khan,

My apologies. You are our Minister of Tarabari.




پس سمت و مقام من چی شد


مسعود خان،

اینکه همش رفیق بازی و پارتی بازی شد! این درست نیست!


اول از همه، با اینهمه کاندید شایسته، چرا سمت وزیر حمل و نقل و ترابری و بار کشی هنوز خالیه؟

دوم، این سرگرد به خاطر تسلط به زبان مداری ما باید رئیس دانشکده ادبیات
فارسی، خط نستعلیق و مولانا شناسی بشه در دانشگاه آزاد نیو یورک!

سوم، بیزحمت اگه میشه در هر کدوم از این کابینه ها که خودتون صلاح میدونین،
یک سمت و مقامی در حد شاهپور غلامرضا برای من در نظر بگیرید که همش سفر به
اینور و اونور کنم و اطرافیان هم هی چاپلوسی کنند و خانوم چاق و بور برام
بیارن. مثل:

رئیس افتخاری کمیته المپیک زمستانی بیسوادان و کم سوادان
رئیس دفتر نابینایان پیرو خط امام
عضو علی البدل هیات داوری جشنواره فیلم فریدون کنار و ده بالا
رئیس فدراسیون کشتی کچ و کشتی پاچوخه

حالا اگه این سمت ها را دوستان دیگه گرفتن، بیزحمت یک شغل گلابی برای من پیدا کنین. مثل:

رئیس سازمان تکثیر کوپن بار و بنشن
مدیر عامل کارخونه تولید پودر لا پای بچه
نایب رئیس صنف اتحادیه توپ جمع کن های ضلع غربی استادیوم آزادی

موفق  باشید!



Shazde Asdola Mirza

Dear Masoud: thanks for your kind nomination, but

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

I can only accept the portfolio of "Culture", if I am assigned to somewhere warmer and less homosexual, eg Ghazvin.

maziar 58


by maziar 58 on

agha massoud jaa ghaht bood ?

aghalan vatican ya san marino for that position if you can find any opening. thanks ye joint Oregano after my new job talabet. Maziar


Thanks for the appointment Masoud Jaan

by divaneh on

but I wish you had asked me first. How do you want me to be the minister of health for a nation who is having kale pache for breakfast and koobideh for lunch. Don't even get me started on all the fries and lack of exercise. I want to be the mayor of Abadan.

I also have my own recommendations.

MPD: Minister of creativity

Ari: The head of journalism

Sahameddin Ghiassi: Minister for living happily together

Agha Darioush: Minister of absence

I Voted Ahmadinejad: Minister of Kashk

ebi amirhosseini

Masoud Jaan & president e Mahboob

by ebi amirhosseini on

Sepaas for your everlasting faith in me.

Your "Vasaa'el e lahv o La'ab" is always ready at the HQ of Hajj office in DC.

Ebi aka Haaji

Fish Here

With all due respect...

by Fish Here on

Though this started off as something funny and some of the things said here are very funny, I find it humiliating that members of this community so freely and without shame call each other Mossad and Savak and Vevak members.  It is embarrassing to most of us as a community to see this.  Carry on, trash each other.  Don't let me spoil your frat party and your drunken conduct here.


I also nominate

by Khar on

Q as the grand Imam Jomeh TehranJeles and, with offical title of Shariati-wana-be.


TahGord (aka Sargord) as a non-Iranian in charge of boasting about Chinese, Russian, North Korean made Iranian Military Junk armament, and official "Type BS" writer on


Masoud Kazemzadeh

thexmaster jaan

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Thexmaster jaan,

Yes, in a democratic society we need a regular prison for criminals (thieves, murderers, rapists, etc). And rehabilitation in addition to punishment are essential.





Honour will be all mine, Farah

by comrade on

I will be more than happy to serve under your supervision. At this moment, however, I'm busy with SJA which stands for: Saazemaané Jazbé AAhaad.

Never increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything.



Oh no! What about me?

by al-dang on


I like to spy for Iran.

My name is Dang,   Al-Dang.

Masoud Kazemzadeh

Condemning Fascism

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Under Reza Shah II, there will be no SAVAK

by Farah Rusta on

The organization will be renamed: SDA (saazmaan-e daf'e aafaat) or MPC (ministry of pest control), if you prefer.

I would be honored to serve as the first female head of intelligence (like the present M in the Bond series) and I would be immensely humbled if my dear Comrade would  join me as a joint chief in this great venture.






Thank YOU for proving my point. The Pahlavists 3.0 are a zillion times worse than Pahalvi 1.0 and Pahlavi 2.0.

At least the other two did NOT regard human beings as "pest" that have to be annihilated. Human beings are NOT roaches. This fascistic genocidal mindset of monarchists like you is precisely why we call you fascist. There is not difference between you and the Nazis.



Farah Rusta

Under Reza Shah II, there will be no SAVAK

by Farah Rusta on

The organization will be renamed: SDA (saazmaan-e daf'e aafaat) or MPC (ministry of pest control), if you prefer.

I would be honored to serve as the first female head of intelligence (like the present M in the Bond series) and I would be immensely humbled if my dear Comrade would  join me as a joint chief in this great venture.




I was actually thinking that Evin would become a prison

by thexmaster on

where prisoners are rehabilated through education with art, film, dance, music, cooking and other positive activities.  That could be another way of wiping away all the horrors of Evin.  


Farshad jon, don't worry

by Souri on

I don't mind to live in Siberia!

Do you think Montreal is warmer than there? 

Anyway, I will bring you there with myself, you will work as nayeb safir!!


Masoud Kazemzadeh


by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Thexmaster jaan,

We are gonna turn Evin prison into a museum. We should place the photo of every single person who was a political prisoner in that horrendous place. I also think it is a good idea to place the photo and name of every torturer at Evin there.

I think we need to make a clear break from imprisoning people for their beliefs.




I'd like to be the warden of Evin.

by thexmaster on

Thanks dr. masoud!

Masoud Kazemzadeh

Dear Sharab Sorkh and Only Iran

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

Sharab Sorkh besiyar gerami,

I am really glad you liked it.  It is our honor that you will be the mayor of Shemiran.

Best regards,




Only Iran jaan,

Ok, you are our ambassador to Bahamas.  Or you could ask for Council General at Hawaii. 



Vazir Kaar (as appointed by Mehraban, our Spokeswoman) 




I am honored, but

by Onlyiran on

I am honored for being appointed as an ambassador to our neighbor nation.  However, it appears that Iraq will remain a hellhole for years to come, and to be honest, I am not really in the mood to be car-bombed.  As such, can I please be re-appointed to a calmer country...perhaps one with close proximity to a beach of some sort, or better yet, an Island?  How about the Bahamas?  Will we have diplomatic relations with Bahamas in the new cabinet?  I happily donate the Iraq post to Mola Nassredin. 

Masoud Kazemzadeh

Dear R2-D2 and President Khar

by Masoud Kazemzadeh on

R2-D2 jaan,

You are most welcomed, my friend.







Rais Jomhur Mohtaram Khar jaan,


You are absolutely right.  Ebi is our Hajj in Charge of Omoorateh Lahv O La-aab and Amre Be Monkar Nahy Az Maarouf .  Your first appointment of your 2nd term is perfect.



Best regard,