Gharibeh AshenAyeh azizam,
Salaam. Salaami chi booyeh khosheh AshenAei.
I wish I could have written this in Farsi, but since this
NetZine is published in English, I am have no choice.
It is almost five months since I heard from you. I am
still wondering and soul searching as to why you left; more importantly
why you left so unannounced, so sudden, without so much as to leaving a
couple of electronic lines.
It is almost four months since I opted for solitude. "Sokootam
az rezAyat neest, delam ahleh shekAyat neest". It is not as if I have
nothing to say. It is just that I decided to respect your wishes and give
you the space you needed; regardless of what was going on in my mind and
heart.
What am I writing now? Why aren't I continuing this long
solitude? The one and only reason is to totally forbid the possibility
of you ever thinking that I forgot you. NEVER. I don't know if today I
am just a distant memory or if I am still remembered. Whatever I am, the
thought of you ever thinking that I would forget you deeply saddens me.
Today is Valentine's Day. Exactly six months ago to this
date, I voiced my feelings to you. I am so glad to say that if my feelings
haven't remained the same they have only grown and deepened. I remember
I told you that, I LOVE YOU, regardless of the situation and outcome and
the consequences. I told you that I am just content and happy with simply
loving you and keeping you on my mind. Although you have been abscent for
over five months of this period, I still feel the same way. I am just happy
that I can love someone, the way that I love you now, and living with your
memory is just wonderful.
I cannot say I have any hope or not for ever hearing from
you again, I rather not think about that. I just wanted to take this opportunity
to say that I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY BEING AND THAT I MISS YOU BEYOND IMAGINATION.
Wherever you are and whomever you are with, I wish you a very happy valentines
day. During this month I have thought of you more than always, since it
is the month that your late father had planned on visiting you. I truly
hope that you are fine as far as coping with his loss goes. Don't ever
forget that if you ever need me, even if it is ten years from now, I will
always be here for you.
Before I say goodbye I like to dedicate this beautiful
ghazal from MolAnA to you:
"Man dardeh toe rA ze dast AsAn nadaham,
Del barnakanam ze doost tA jAn nadaham,
Az doost beh yAdegAr dardi dAram,
KAn dard beh sad hezAr darmAn nadaham"
Doostat dAram beh vosateh doostdAshtan.
Hameesheh dar ghalbeh man khAi bood,
ASHEGH E ROSVA yeh toe.X
NEXT MESSAGE: You
are a heartbreaker!
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