The best way to stop terrorists from hijacking planes is to put all passengers into sleep during the entire flight. As passengers board the plane they must be given sleeping pills. After a few minutes they would all go into deep sleep and the plane would take off.
At the end of the flight, passengers are are woken up. But during the flight if the pilot is informed about a passenger’s past terrorist record, he will be kept asleep and handed over to the FBI to be taken to his final destination / resting place.
By taking this unprecedented action, we would eliminate the necessity of airport security altogether. Airliners would save millions of dollars by eliminating the cost of flight attendants and in-flight meals.
To stop suicide hijackers, it should be mandatory for every passenger to fly with his/her spiritual leader. This would definitely prevent terrorists from carrying out their evil plans. The only drawback to this plan would be that Pope John Paul II, the Dalai Lama and some mollas would be flying a lot, but I am sure they would understand.
Future skyscrapers should have flexible designs. An elastic building can easily dodge approaching hotile planes. These buildings should also be equipped with sensitive radar. When radar detects any large object getting close, it would automatically trigger the defense mechanism and make the entire structure move around to avoid collision, or even open up to let the plane pass through. When the building dodges the plane, a huge middle-finger-shaped balloon would inflate and fly into the air.
Placing Air Atheists instead of Air Marshals on every flight would be very helpful. Before take-off, Air Atheists would make a multi-media presentation to prove to passengers that there is no God and heaven is just a man-made illusion.
Handcuffing of passengers during flights should become mandatory. Flight attendants would spoon feed passengers and assit them with bowl movements in their seat. Any passenger who complains must be immediately reported to law enforcement authorities.
Religious leaders should convince their followers that all women in heaven look like Madeleine Albright or Janet Reno. This preview of eternal life in heaven would help prevent suicide missions and even convince terrorists to work with the CIA to prevent future attacks.
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