The land of no land

Let me breathe. Let me just hold on to the rest of my energy and try to grasp another piece of this thin air. I feel weightless. I feel as if my body is empty. I can see this emptiness dragging me inside a dark, powerful hole. I cannot resist it. My whole mass is changing. I have carried this emptiness inside my heart like a secret hidden in my chest ever since my feet touched this land. Now I am being robbed of my identity as a human being each single second.

In my mailbox lies another call for action, ”
NO visas for Iranians… Washington DC, October 8, 2002 — Representative George Gekas (R-PA) has introduced immigration legislation that would ban all visas to Iranians (except diplomatic visas). The legislation, known as the Securing America�s Future through Enforcement Reform (SAFER) Act of 2002 (H.R. 5013), will prohibit visas to all Iranian nationals or residents. The bill reduces legal immigration by eliminating several categories of persons eligible for Green Cards based on their relationship to a U.S. citizen or Green Card holder…”

That easily translates in my mind into:
They do not want you, Persian kitten! You do not want to go back to your motherland. So, where do you belong in this world?A cat with no shelter?

I am reaching the point of not belonging to any land. But instead of the great feeling of independence, I feel like the fox in
The Little Prince. Belonging to a land is like being tamed.

I whisper:
Tame me! I am a brilliant hi-tech worker. I come to your land, learn your rules and work like a mule day and night. I will forget the color of the stars and the warmth of the sun inside the cubicle that you put me in. Just give me a land to belong to, to settle in, to feel like buying my dream home. Call me, lady of no land, into your arms.

I look at the intangible windows beyond the walls surrounding me and I see you. I am not alone. You are with me. Anybody who leaves the pearly blue beaches of the Caspian Sea and steps down the airplane anywhere in the United States to study, to live or to build that palace of hidden dreams, knows what I mean.

In these moments of weightlessness you are with me, believe it or not. You, who are getting a second masters degree, or a third PhD; you who send resumes non-stop like a robot to this and that employer, me who follows each U.S. immigrationn news like a psycho — we are all trying to hold on to this land, to show that we belong to it. Yes, you. You are with me!

We all feel this landlessness, sooner or later. We cannot live in the land we left behind. And we cannot live here against the wishes of the landlords, unless you join me in building our home sweet home in the land of no land.