, I have seen more than a few articles written by Iranian men that disparage Iranian women. These nasty articles have portrayed Iranian women as spoiled and greedy gold diggers, especially Iranian women who grew up outside of Iran. Perhaps, there is some truth to what they write with certain women but certainly not the vast majority.
None of the Iranian women that I have ever known have displayed such ignoble and selfish qualities, and this is especially true in the case of my wonderful wife. Without a doubt she has given me more love and given more meaning to my life than I have ever been capable of giving to her. I shall never abide those who seek to belittle Iranian girls and dismiss them as potential marriage partners because frankly speaking they do not know what they are talking about.
When my wife and I were still in our teens we entered into, perhaps, the most challenging type of marriage that is possible for two people; one in which the partners are from different cultures and countries. In the early years, I think that we both felt that “if I can only make him/her more like me everything will work out fine.” But, that is where we were both wrong. Just as a leopard cannot change its spots, we were unable to remake one another. Once we learned this very important truth, we began to compromise.
Compromise was not easy for me, however, for like the writers who are unkind to Iranian women, I too was ignorant and stubborn at times. Now that I am well into my forties, I thank God that that my wife was patient with me until the time that I could learn to really appreciate her. This man, who married her all those years ago, did so because he wanted her; the man who looked upon her this morning as she slept needs her.
When I held her long I ago, I did so only with passion. When I hold her now it is with deep love and tenderness. What the flame has lost in intensity over the years, it has gained in warmth and intimacy. For many years my wife was not my best friend. I grew up beleiving that it wasn't possible for a spouse to be a best friend. How wrong I was.
We have grown so close over the years that sometimes we don't even have to speak to know what the other is thinking. Sometimes we say the exact same thing at the same time. If I were to lose her now, I really think that I would be lost. It would truely be like losing half of me.
A few months ago we visited Kish Island with one of our two children. I speak very little Farsi, but my son speaks it well. We were out on a boating excursion around the island with with other Iranians when the lady sitting next to my wife began speaking in Farsi to her. This lady kept looking at me and it became obvious that she was talking about me. I whispered to son, “What are they saying?” He said the lady asked mommy, 'Isn't it difficult to be married to a foreigner'?”
Feeling uneasy and fearing her response, I timidly asked my child what my wife replied. He said mommy told her, “It's no more difficult for me being married to a foreigner than it is for my husband being married to a foreigner.” My wife's response was an affirmation of our commitment to one another. It would have been easy for her to say “it's very difficult”, but she did not… she stood by me even when I could not understand what they were talking about.
To say that this woman has enriched my miserable life beyond measure is simply inadequate. She is loving and loyal, trustworthy and tender, giving and gracious. She is my love and my life. She is a proud Iranian woman. Those men who seek to belittle and berate Iranian women either do not know them or are simply too ignorant to appreciate one of God's most precious treasures on this earth.