New American Revolution

My friends and I were out drinking on the night of California's recall election at Huber's Cafe, Portland's oldest bar, after having the finest Sushi dinner in this harmonious progressive town. Surely, it is fun to experience short lived MasterCard moments once in a while.

We were all well fed, too gorged and somewhat drunk as the atmosphere of the bar set the stage for it. The background music, with the piano player and a solo singer, also eased me into taking a little trip to the past recalling the better days when I was studying American history on my own.

The more I was thinking about it the more I was just grateful to the vision of our Founding Fathers. How they envisioned resolving that difficult day if Americans ever had to encounter tyranny in this great land of the free and the home of the brave. That is, without sacrificing blood and by having the people to exercise their rights to vote and demand to have ballot boxes out so they can discharge their frustrations with the government.

Yes indeed on that remarkable Tuesday night of October 7th, 2003 America experienced the first of many revolutions set to come without a single shot fired or an injury to another man. Oh please forgive me, but to be fair we all have to admit that there was indeed a massive shot fired into leftist groups in America. Those Socialists, extreme Liberals, Communists, and others in California and America.

Californians showed up at their polling station in record numbers and told Governor Gray Davis to leave for good. They told him they are tired of his very liberal and socialist agendas, that he and his party have not accepted fiscal responsibility for this great state, that he is spending so much money on social welfare and programs targeting illegal immigrants and minorities, that he is no longer representing California's interests anymore, that he is not an upright man when all of a sudden he appoints over 260 new judges right after the recall date to secure his liberal agenda even after he is long gone.

Surely, Davis and his lieutenant governor Bustamante hijacked the mainstream Democratic Party and ran it over a cliff. The internal power struggle between the two resulted in a victory of old mainstream Democrats in Republican clothing and caused them to rise from JFK's grave this time — as Michael Savage said it so intelligently. Arnold's victory celebration was indeed a return to Camelot. What a revolution we had that night in America and how solemn, civilized, and silent — yet powerful — it was. Needless to say, Arnolds's speech gave it a Hollywood ending indeed!

What I personally liked the most was the fact that Arnold, unlike Bush, won by the popular votes which caused extreme liberals disdain over the outcome once again. Furthermore, he used some tactics in bringing drama involving his under-the-waistline matters to gain the support of democrats in California. He sure learned it from Billy the pro, who did pickpocket my vote twice on his presidential elections by his charm in whispering gentle words softly in my ear with his saxophone pitch. How misguided, innocent and dull I was in my yesteryears when I was a liberal myself. Undoubtedly if Billy could have gotten away with his misconduct issues in clear daylight, why can't Arnold? Remember this is the land of equal opportunity.

Wow… Our historians surely did record this robust tremor on that night in KALLEFOURNEYA (as Arnold says it so impressively). The new revolution has just started and the flame is going to be contagious. Mark my words.

I won't be surprised if the shock of this tremor reaches the beautiful shores of South America, giving a wakeup call to nations once liberated by Bolivar, and San Martin, knocking on the doors of Miraflores in Caracas, where Hugo Chavez this barbarian ''revolutionary'' leader in red beret resides, dictates and rules his Cuban style slave farm and denies, with NO shame, the constitutional rights of the children of Bolivar, who are begging gracefully for their day of justice in holding a referendum.

It may even reach those Portenos in Buenos Aires and make them plea to Carlos Kirchner in taking responsibility by balancing Argentina's current and capital accounts with the rest of the world. But knowing him he would rather be known as the biggest thief in the region and be chained in Casa Rosada.

By the way nobody is asking what Argentina ever did with all the billions the world community trusted it with? I can trace that answer to the corner of Avenida Callao and Corrientes myself. Why isn't anybody else chasing it? That is almost three times more money than what Bush is asking for to secure our interests in Iraq. What disgracing leaders we have in the Southern part of this beautiful continent of OURS!

With all fairness, the news of our strength coming back, the news of the Bald American Eagle being FREED and opening its majestic wings echoed equally. By contrast, our enemies abroad only added fuel to their ill-will against us “the infidels”. If you are one of those loyal Al-Jazirah listeners you know what I mean.

Coincidentally, the United Nations released the world poverty report prepared by Ahmed Obaid on the eve of California's glorious election day. Obaid suggests in his report that America should contribute more to the poor and needy in the Third World countries who are way too sexually active, and are deprived of education and medicine. America's donation should prevent early pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS, and help in family planning.

Onaid probably thinks America is not recognizing its own invisible state named after it (poverty) or America is not generous enough to help the world fighting it. A few billion dollars here, a few billion dollars there, what the heck let's give to the world trillions of dollars, but somebody please tell Obaid in “the name of his God the merciful” that we will use our offshore accounts to fulfill his wishes. America is NOT going to print money and deteriorate its currency any further to finance Obaid's noble dreams. If that is not pleasing, Obaid should go and get it from the pirate sitting in Casa Rosada who is holding our money! The buck stops there ….

Get your wigs out America, and I mean your RIGHT wigs out. Halloween is right around the corner. What timing! Aren't we lucky for a change? Let's pay our tribute in an evening of clean fun and dress up as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Q. Adams, Abraham Lincoln, Daniel Webster, Thomas H. Benton, Henry Clay, or Sam Houston.

Needless to say, the real credit goes to brilliant Californians this time. Who else but Californians, and where else but Californi? That is where America's leading strength lies on matters of importance and now the rest of the union has no choice but to follow. Did you think Utah is going to do the same? Idaho or Oregon? Of course NOT … That was the job of our best state in the union and the 5th greatest economy of the world!

Thanks to our great Founding Fathers and the best system of government which is the envy of the world. Thank you California. Thank you Californians. Thank you Arnold. Let me translate this last sentence in Spanish for our Latino readers (we all need to learn Spanish in America. It is the language promoted by our Democratic Party's presidential nominees during debates): “Gracias California. Gracias la gente de California. Gracias Arnold.”

America will progress and prosper soon. Americans are the sleeping giants who have awoken now and are demanding a change — broad change for the good of our system and the good of those who are becoming our governors, judges, and leaders. There is a vital shift in asking them to hold much higher morals and merits while serving in the office. Hopefully that will soon reflect in corporate America as well.

Get the liars OUT of office, those who have NO shame in the inconsistency of their convictions and their votes, those who have NO shame in the inconsistency of their conscience and their conduct under oath! They are bunch of liars even in their personal lives and can NOT be trusted on matters of morals, values and the national security of America and Americans. This is going to be unquestionably a pivotal point for America to rise and shine in this century.

My friends and I were discussing the possibility of having another revolution, this time in my home state of Oregon by recalling our democratic governor. As we were leaving the bar all woozy and drunk, we all agreed that a revolution like this can only happen in this great country where an Austrian emigrant races against a person of Mexican descent, kicking the White fellow out of office.

Good job Arnold, and good luck …

God Bless America


PS: I am still befuddled from having too much vodka with too many slices of reality, and truth! Forgive me if my personal demagogic thoughts disturbed you. Next time if you see me at the local microbrewery standing by myself, think of Mark Twain's quote “Be good, and be lonesome”. My position is to be firm on my thoughts, and I can live with it. I know that I am not alone on the right side with my own mug of Blueheron in hand standing by America's president, conscience, interests and our men and women in uniform. I say let's Salute to that!

“Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution, for if the American Constitution should fail, there will be anarchy throughout the world.” — Daniel Webster, defender of our Constitution


Jonathan Kennedy was born in Iran to Iranian parents. He now lives as an American in Oregon.

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