I was amazed by the distance in your eyes

I am like a lonely man in the maze
deaf, dumb and blind
in the silence of an autumns afternoon
and I have two windows in my room
both with thick and dark curtains
closed
and the darkness
in my heart

sometimes I feel like an old man's cane
breaking the silence of the alley
with a rhythm of a dropping water in the sink
unbearable

toss and turning in my bed
the pros and cons of all the words that I want to hear
the meaning of all the words you want to ask
all the words that you did not say
and I did not ask
sabotaging the truth of your migration to north
while all the birds, to south

your unpredictable desire
makes me want to survive
the passion of owning a red flashy sports car
seeing you on the rear view mirror
with a flashy red dress
slightly above your knees
and all the joy of being teenage again
on the moments of my midlife crisis

how euphoric.