Kharistani envoy visits Iran

After the publication of my articl about planet Kharistan, the new envoy of Kharistan to planet earth urgently contacted the Iranian authorities and offered their sincerest apologies to the Iranian government, the supreme leader, especially the president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and the great people of Iran, for any possible offence that an illegitimate lunatic, code-named Ben Madadi, supposedly working for the enemies of Kharistan and Iran, has brought to the dignity and honour of the proud people of Iran. The envoy of Kharistan clearly stated that the Kharistani authorities have no relations whatsoever with Ben Madadi.

The envoy used the occasion also to see Mr Ahmadinejad for an interplanetary friendly meeting. Although he had some difficulties arranging for the meeting, his attempts became suddenly successful after he mentioned that they have Jews on planet Kharistan, who are making trouble. Mr Ahmadinejad accepted the meeting immediately and offered tea to the Kharistani envoy. The envoy refused the tea and asked for some vodka, and after seeing the change on Mr Ahmadinejad’s face, remembered the scenes, on the Internet, of people being hanged for crimes ranging from unauthorised sex to unauthorised killings (unauthorised means not being legitimised by the Iranian government), and immediately corrected his words, claiming (smartly lying) that the word vodka means green tea back in Kharistan.

After they had some tea, black for Mr Ahmadinejad and green for the guest, the Kharistani envoy started to talk about the problems they have back in Kharistan with the Jews. Mr Ahmadinjead was all ears. The envoy said that the Kharistani Jews are conspiring to take control of whole of planet Kharistan. And he offered a highly confidential letter from the big khar of Kharistan to Mr Ahmadinejad in which the big khar urgently asks for immediate financial help from the government of Iran to address this serious issue. Mr Ahmadinejad assured the Kharistani envoy that such a serious matter cannot be ignored and that the Iranian government and people will do all they can to help Kharistan stay free from the grips of the Zionist threat.

The envoy didn’t quite understand what Zionist meant, but didn’t say anything and just nodded with a big smile. Mr Ahmadinejad told the envoy that he could give them weaponry but for more powerful stuff they needed to wait for a couple of years, because they were not ready for delivery yet. The Kharistani envoy said “Thanks! Can we have cash please? We need to pay soldiers for now and we will get back to you later for weaponry.”

Mr Ahmadinejad agreed “Everything for the anti-Zionist cause!” The envoy got his big check, shook the hands of all the important figures within the Iranian regime, except for the supreme leader, who refused to meet anybody other than the big khar from Kharistan. They filmed the big event, the first earthly interplanetary meeting in Iran, and sent the envoy back to Kharistan to save his planet.

News just came from Kharistan to planet earth that the big khar has just resigned from the post (the people of Kharistan are happy they are going to sell their votes again), married the envoy to planet earth, therefore acknowledging that they were both gay, showed off their huge mansion they just bought (biggest in the whole Kharistan) to the Kharistani tabloid press (the only press) and actually sold their story too for millions, about how they ripped off a stupid government called… something, they found on a stupid planet called… whatever!

The Iranian authorities, especially Mr Ahmadinejad, got so angry about the whole debacle they ordered a DNA test of the hair (they found some in the room they drank tea) of the Kharistani envoy to planet earth to see what kind of a devious and malicious creature the Kharistanis may be. The results just came out. The Kharistanis are apparently some very close relatives of the Jews, and not the Iranians as was first believed. And this explained everything, and Mr Ahmadinejad, after meeting with the supreme leader, Mr Khamenei, decided to give even more money and support to Hezbollah and Hamas so that planet earth does not go the same path as Kharistan has.

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