Dear Aydin and Alex in North Carolina,
I saw your photo on iranian.com and I wanted to write you a short letter to tell you how nice you looked. Maybe someday, I will be lucky enough to meet you. That would make me happy because you both look like great kids.
I wanted to write you this letter to tell you a few things that I’ve learned in life. I haven’t been alive a long time, but I have been alive longer than both of you and I bet in many ways we are very similar. You see, like both of you, I am also half-Iranian and half-American. The best thing about being a ‘half-n-half’ kid is that you get to learn about two cultures, and most of the time the people of both cultures accept you. You have to remember that I said ‘most of the time!’ There are and always will be some people that think the word ‘half’ means ‘less’, and it is these people that will say things to you to try to make you feel bad. The reason they want you to feel bad is not because they are better than you, but because they need to have someone to kick around to make them feel better about whom they are. If they weren’t trying to kick you around for being half-Iranian, they would be trying to kick someone else around for something ridiculous. Instead of holding their heads high in life and being proud of whom they are, they need to find someone to put down, so that they can see themselves and bigger and better in their own eyes. When people say things that hurt your feelings, DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! You are great kids. Always hold your heads high! Be proud of our Iranian heritage. Your claim on your heritage is just as strong as anyone else’s. Your ancestors for the past many thousands of years have lived, loved, laughed and died in Iran just as much as any ‘whole’ Iranian’s has.
While having pride in our beautiful Iranian heritage, never forget the heritage your father has given you. I saw in his letter on iranian.com that he is part-German, part, English and part-Irish, so that means you are too! Some Iranians make a deal out of being Aryans. Between you and me, I’ve never met an Aryan and no Aryan has ever done anything for me (probably because they’ve all been dead for thousands of years), so being descended from Aryans doesn’t mean much in my life. If it means more to you, then you should know that the word “Ireland” means ‘Land of the Aryans,’ just like the word ‘Iran’ does. In my book, both of you are more Aryan than those who try to hurt your feeling by saying nasty rude things about your names. You get your ‘Aryan-ness’ from two great lands (Ireland and Iran) and from both of your parents.
There are a couple of lessons you can learn from the comments that were left after your beautiful photograph. Some of the comments were nice and a few were not-so-nice. The first lesson deals with the comments that weren’t nice. Always remember to think carefully about what you say to someone or write to them. Words are like ringing a bell. Once you ring a bell, you cannot un-ring it, and once you hurt someone’s feeling by saying or writing something hurtful to them, you can’t take those words back and you can’t completely remove their hurt…no matter how much you may later apologize.
The second thing that you can learn is how beautiful Iranian people are. They have hearts of gold. A lot of strangers that you don’t know rose to defend you when a few people tried to hurt your feelings by criticizing your names. All of the people that wrote in to defend you are Iranians just like you. They are good and decent people and they could not sit by silently while a few mean old men wrote bad things about your names.
If you got angry when those few people wrote means comments about you names, just remember all those people who rose to defend you. I think many of the ones who wrote to defend you were Iranian women. I don’t know if you speak any Farsi, but you if don’t you can ask your mommy what a Sheer Zan is. Iranian women are like lions. They are strong, proud women, and I hope that you will always be proud of the heritage your mommy has given you; just as I am proud of the heritage my maman has given me.
I know it doesn’t feel very good when people hurt your feelings, but remember they aren’t doing it because you have done something wrong, or because they are better than you. They are doing it so they can feel better about themselves. They need someone to pick on and put down. Don’t get angry with them….feel sorry for them! They need your love and your pity, not your anger. Real Iranians, whether whole-blooded, or half-blooded (like both of you and me), have kind and loving hearts. Don’t ever forget this!
When I saw you beautiful photo and read the mean comments left, I felt very angry. I felt angry that there were people who would try to hurt you feelings, and I felt angry that some people still try to make a big deal out the differences between ‘half-Iranians’ and ‘whole-Iranians.’ Since I am a ‘half-ee’ like you, I felt like a big brother who wanted to protect you. There is no way I can do that though, for there will always be some Americans that will see you as not being American enough, and there will always be some Iranians that will see you as not being Iranian enough. I know this is true because I am walking down the same road in life that you are on…I am just a little farther down it than you are. The thing that you need to remember is that for every 1 person that sees you as being ‘less’ than them, there are 1000 people who will love you for who you are and welcome you with open arms….this is as true for Iranians as it is for Americans.
Prejudice can come from people on both sides of your heritage, but so can love….and lots of it! A few years ago, I wrote a short article about being an Ameranian (half-American and half-Iranian). Maybe your maman or baba can read it to you both sometime, even though I realize that Alex is a big girl who can already read. I think you will see that you are not alone. There are lots of people like us….and we are all proud of our Iranian roots, no-matter what our names may be. Have a very Merry Christmas.
Lots of love,
Lance
