Holding an armful of lilies
I fly out of the Garden of Eden alone at night to the light
of my own devising, squalling away in a glare, leaving
damned Adam of eye-whites red behind, as the moon soars
on my silvery wings.
I am Lilith, Leila, Lulu,
nocturnal spirit of desert wind, seditious soul
of cosmic split, an outlaw who would not submit.
Can you see yourself in my insolent eyes?
In my beginning shines
a beautiful maiden, luring men to the temple of Innana;
next I am Adam’s primordial mate, remoulded from the dust
of the earth just like him, at the same time as him, not like Eve
who swells under his rib later on, an offshoot, derivative.
Not a drop of my blood is from him. I insist,
from the start, on equal esteem equal chances.
I am Lilith, Leila, Lulu,
no man’s mothersisterdaughterwife; life of altering roles,
meta-fisted storm of three souls: one behind mirrors,
one in the underworld, one within your wanton wit.
Can you see yourself in my insolent eyes?
Adam wants me submissive,
his raw missive is dismissive of my clever crux,
causing clash of the two of us, dyad of chthonic love.
Unsure and shadow-bound of the power path,
his veiled eyes don’t see that lovers don’t hurt.
So I say No and stand my ground.
I am Lilith, Leila, Lulu;
mothers scare their children with my name and hood
“Be good or Lulu comes out of the dark and eats you up!”
I am so misunderstood; called demon witch with ethics skewed.
Yet Eve’s forbidden dreams flake from my wings.
Can you see yourself in my insolent eyes?
As I find a place of rest
in the desert, loafing in the fountain of self-esteem,
the scolding God dispatches – at Adam’s urging – three angels
with an ultimatum: that I return or He will make me have a thousand
children out of my bloom womb and a hundred of them would die
each day. I grab this instead of subjugation.
The high wind has the roar of God’s rage in its throat.
So I throw myself into the Red Sea. Saddest tears of the stars
over a scene they set out to see.
I am Lilith, Leila, Lulu,
forged afresh of fire, free of the dust, lifted in the gust,
lover with infinite hearts, whole without Adam,
without man, angel or beast; travelling through mirrors,
flying with the screech owl through feverish nights,
harvesting dreams of besieged butterflies.
Can you see yourself in my insolent eyes?
Saved by the angels,
I am granted all power over the neonate, to compensate
for the Grudging God’s judgement, as He fashions Eve out
of Adam’s rib, forever bent / forever bound, complementary
in his rounds of feud, filling the earth with her belligerent brood.
So I descend to the underworld, muse behind mirrors, move into
your myths, and make them all my homes.
I am Lilith, Leila, Lulu;
my lips are seals of death on the cheeks of unwanted unborn babes;
my hips are music luring out of troubled homes tedious husbands;
my hair, systematic blackness, a sanctuary for you
to cast your skin off the exigencies of old times.
Can you see yourself in my insolent eyes?
I wine and I dine
with fallen angels in the holographic hollow earth,
dancing, turning, leaping, spiralling around their girth;
my many lovers welcome me on eager feet,
challenging Eve’s chastising God.
I am Lilith, Leila, Lulu,
caster of marvelous lots,
gypsy soul who slips into your thoughts
through your eyes, your mirrors, your shadows;
rewrites your rhythms, stirs your desire
for sunny stamina, liberty at will, serendipity.
Can you see yourself in my insolent eyes?
©2008, Azadeh Azad
