The Iranian of the Day thread is always exciting. But last night, I noticed it was even more fascinating and abusive than usual. The Iranian of the Day was Pejman Mokhtari, a 20 year old Iranican gay disco party guy. Party GIRL, my favorite reporter here, had submitted a video of him in his gay disco millieu to jj. JJ made him Iranian of the Day and even hopped on board the thread once.
The comments on the thread seemed to be more vitriolic than your usual garden variety homophobia. And so I thought about it and thought about it, until finally I figured out that the real problem was that most of these posters were jealous, because they want to be Iranian of the Day too. So I decided to write a little primer to tell them how. But first, I want to address the individual posters briefly, their hopes, their dreams, their fears. Kind of like Dear Abby.
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Mooshmooshak writes: I got to say that I am a little disappointed Party Girl! So what??? what qualifies him as Iranian of the day???
Rosie replies: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That is the whole point of Iranian of the Day. Your dog can be Iranian of the Day if it is an Iranian dog. P.S. Moosh. Don’t you know it’s Gay Pride Month? Where have you been, hiding in a closet?
Ananamuss: It’s pretty childish of him to say “I’m gay, what are you going to do about it?”
Rosie: What do you want him to say? “I’m gay, do something about it?” That doesn’t make any sense at all.
ye-irani: Iranian of the day? This is very sad!
Rosie: It is not sad. Death and taxes are sad. Please don’t be sad. It upsets me when you’re sad.
Ali Reza: Stay in the closet.
Rosie: It is very difficult to dance in a closet. Especially a broom closet.
Anonymous: What is the purpose of showing scenes of him kissing his boyfriend?
Rosie: It is because jj cannot show scenes of him kissing his girlfriend. He is gay.
Anonymous123456; Come on Jahanshah What the hell are you turning this website into? Are you gonna applaud every little perversion just because of the “liberal” element it contains? I’m outta here.
Rosie: No, he is not. I have never seen any material on this site about fetish bondage. But hope springs eternal. Please come back. We need people like you who are good with numbers to do the captcha quizzes.
ye-irani again: okay then, jj. Please put up Ahmadinejad as Iranian of the day…after all, “it’s for any Iranian, no matter what they do or who they are”…
Rosie: That is an excellent idea. I am going to upload a good photo of Mahmood now.
faryarm: Pejman sounds like a sincere young man…who is looking for attention in all the wrong places.
Rosie: You are very sweet. We are all looking for attention in the wrong places. That is why we post on this website.
Azadeh: Party Girl, Aziz. In all honesty this video has no value what so ever! I believe having the power to post material at our fingertips comes with responsibility that should not be taken lightly.
Rosie: How should it be taken? Heavily? This is iranian.com. It is not the website for Stop Child Executions. Or for a trucking company.
Gol-dust: What is so Iranian about the guy who doesn’t even know Persian? Iranian of the day! My foot!
Rosie: That is why I am going to submit Ahmadinejad for Iranian of the Day. He speaks Persian. My foot, too. Would you like to play footsie? I am a woman. Don’t care what you are, though. Where do you live?
Shabnam: Disgusting. You have an identity problem for whatever reason, be it hormonal, psychological, or whatever else. The video was repulsive and abhorrent. Please keep that to yourself and do not pollute the society with it.
Rosie: Why did you click on it? The title is “I’m gay” and the photo on the homepage is of two men kissing.
Shabnam again: P.S. And please take this off this site. I have a teenage son who has this page as his homepage. This is porn material. What were you thinking?
Rosie: This is not porn material. If you want porn material, go to google and key in the most explicit, smutty words you can think of for body parts and sex acts, and do a websearch. Then you will know what porn is, and you will be very happy that your teenage son still has this as his homepage. P.S. Be careful not to get computer viruses. It happened to me.
Peyman: sheesh what’s next? an rapist being iranian of the day? wtf!
Rosie: If it is an Iranian rapist, he or she can be Iranian of the Day. Please don’t curse, not even in abbreviated form. This is a respectable website. Shabnam’s teen-age son uses it as his homepage.
Galled Mother: Stop the hate.
Rosie: You are very sweet. They do not hate. They just want to express themselves because this website was founded on the principles of free speech. You have to understand they never had it in the time of the Shah or IRI. Also, they are jealous because they all want to be Iranian of the Day too. So now I am going to explain to them how:
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Yes. it’s true. You too can be Iranian of the Day. All you have to do is get someone, a family member, a friend, a neighbor, to take a photo of you. Then have them write something short about something you do well, anything at all. It can be gardening, cooking excellent kebobs, or fetish bondage. They can even make it up. Then have them send it in. You can even do it all yourself if you don’t have any friends. Sooner or later, when he gets around to it, jj will post it and you will be Iranian of the Day. And then you will get to have people say terrible things about you on your very own thread. P.S. I have noticed that to get posted faster, it helps to be newly born.
And that’s all there is to it! Best of luck. May the force be with you.