I was mindlessly watching MTV Cribs this past weekend as I started thinking whose crib would the Islamic fundamentalists of the Shiite sect like to see featured on that program.
I figured it has got to be Imam Zaman’s Crib; I guess maybe not so much a home but a chAh but who knows, with God’s technological backing, the Imam can have the most wicked home 200 feet under ground.
According to Shiite Hadises, the Hidden Imam has an entourage of 313 people (yeah even more than Fitty Cents), 10 of which are his hommies.
If there are 313 people, you figure 4 to a room, that means the Crib needs to have 78 bedrooms, 40 bath rooms, a huge outdoor pool for ghosl….. What if some of the 313 are females? Then the house needs to have two completely separate wings; North wing for males and South wing for the females.
No self respecting Iranian or Arab can go too long without a woman….there has got to be some women around for hourly sighe. Otherwise, there is going to be a lot of “don’t ask don’t tell moments” in the Chah.
And yeah, what about cars? What do you think the 12th Imam will drive out of the chah to go from Qom to Tehran to meet with Ahmadinejad? Maybe a strectched Hummer?
Nah, Hummer is American made. Maybe a few stretched Benz limos. Figure 12 people to a limo…nah, scrap that. 1 Limo for the Imam and the 10 hommies and the rest can follow in buses. So the garage of the Crib should have room for 1 Limo and a big bus. Maybe a Lamborghini or a Rolls too for special occasions.
Since everything is underground, maybe an indoor pool like the grotto at the playboy mansion will be found in the home. Instead of bikinis though, women would be in full hejab with t-shirts and long skirts….all wet of course.
By the way, is Imam Zaman an Iranian? Or an Arab? If he is Arab, which country will he be from? Palestine? Probably. Damn, I know this is way off the subject, but do I really want to be “ruled” by another Arab again?!!
I hope the 12th Imam is Iranian.