I am really struggling at the moment to come to terms with what happened in our family over christmas. I’m trying hard to harbour some good thoughts and understanding and my other half puts it down to cultural differences but that doesnt wash with me. See what you think ? I would like to know other peoples views,
My other halfs brother, wife and two children came to stay over xmas. they arrived xmas eve. Until then only my bro in law had been here: we had always visited them because we have a car and can travel easily and they dont. We usually go and see them monthly and stay for a few days. And theres never been any problems with that, So my other half travelled to get them and brought them here, over 400 miles in one day. I was at home preparing food and making their rooms ready for them. The idea was to give the children a first xmas and for my bro in law and his wife to have a break.
From the moment my sister in law arrived she refused chai, or any refreshment let alone something to eat and the children copied her example at first. She went to bed without even a good night. Ok I thought .. she’s tired, I didnt dwell on that.
The next day, xmas day, she continued to refuse food and refreshments. I offered and offered… I was worried about her and getting tired of this. but she would not be persuaded, It was now 24 hours since she had arrived! This continued throught out their 3 day stay here ??? The children and my bro in law were allowed to eat , thank god, what is that about? Our house is clean and I am clean.
We had guests for xmas dinner, good friends of ours with their small child. They brought the children presents and my sis in law wouldnt allow the children to open them. Instead they had to take their presents unwrapped upstairs in their room . I did not understand this at all.. Her children were not allowed to play with our friends child and she asked the girl aged 6 to stand next to her to ensure she didnt play. My bro in law wasnt allowed to leave the living room and she watched his every move. At one point he went outside with our friend to look at our friends new car and she went crazy!! causing a big row in front of our guests. My other half told her off and did not speak to her again.
The next day she woke up and went out before any of us were awake, She was gone 4 hours. We were worried about her because she doesnt speak english and had never been to our town before. And she didnt answer her mobile. Eventually we found her wandering around a mall. On her eturn she went to her room and I followed her there and found her crying. She said she had a headache …. not surprising when she had not drunk any fluids for 2 days. She only took some paracetamol without water.
Her husband asked me to take her out and buy her a meal and I said no! I had food in the house and had cooked iranian food for her … im a good cook! I was begining to get cross by now and asked him ‘what is wrong with her, is my my house dirty that she cant eat my food’?
A row ensued between them all and I took the children out if it into another room. She then decided she wanted to return home and went off to pack their bags, The children cryed and asked if they could stay? The 6 yr old ran under the table and refused to get come out. She let them stay. I was surprised! And they stayed for three more days and we gave them a great time, until she sent my bro in law to collect them. I was going to drive them home the next day!
When he came here, he wouldnt talk to me as he usually did, only polite tarof type of conversation. . As if I had done something wrong???
This has left a very bitter taste in my mouth as since their arrival in the UK we have done our upmost to help them with immigration issues, financially and looking after the children when they had things to do.
I dont understand what happened…. Im at a loss. My other half is upset and puts some of it down to cultural misunderstanding but I dont buy it, I think shes just damn rude and a little crazy. What do you think? I know this is only my take on what happened but Im 100% sure I did nothing offensive,
Javaneh
