Yesterday I submitted an article outlining the factors that prevent us from benefiting from psychotherapy: “Becoming sane without going carzy“. I appreciate your comments.
Today I would like to elaborate on the “Blame” factor. As I mentioned we have a tendency to balme others and circumstances for our sufferings. But I believe that we have the power to change our life by changing ourselves.
Perhaps the best way to clarify this point is to tell you the story of a couple who came to me for marriage counseling. Mrs X bitterely complained about her husband’s temper.
“When he gets angry he explodes. He screams, slams the doors, breaks things and calls me horrible names. I can not go on like this anymore.” She said crying.
Mr X calmly turned to me and said “Mina Khanoom I am not a violent man. I work very hard all day long. When I come home I need some peace and quiet. But my wife does not leave me alone. She constantly criticizes me. She nags, complains and makes life a living hell. You see I am like a bottle of gasoline. As long as I am left alone nothing happens. But if someone puts a lit match to me, then of course I explode.”
I thought for a second and said “Mr X,I have a very important question for you that I would like you to think about. How do you think things would have been different if you were a bottle of water ?”