Rafi-joon’s Proposal for Solving Iran’s “Crisis” (with my sarcastic notes!)

Rafsanjani outlined his proposal for getting the country out of what he called a crisis. He made it clear that his proposal is the result of his consultation with the Assembly of Experts, as well as with the Expediency Council (a Constitutional body that arbitrates between the Guardian Council and the Majles, and acts as the consultation organ of the Supreme Leader) and, therefore, has the backing of two powerful organs. He declared that the Guardian Council did not use the five-day extension that the Supreme Leader had granted it [to investigate the fraud in the election] fruitfully. His proposal contained the following elements:

1. The government should act in a way that people’s trust in it, which has been destroyed, is restored [he did not, however, specify how].
Me: You’re the 2nd most influential man in Iran, why don’t you get the government to do this? (whatever “this” is)

2. Everyone and every organ, whether it is the political establishment, or the government, the Majles, the security forces, or the protesters, should act lawfully. Even those who are not happy with the present laws must try [peacefully] to modify the laws.
Me: Isn’t this what 3 million Iranians were doing on June 15, 2009 during the biggest PEACEFUL protest in Tehran? That is, PEACEFUL, until government snipers hidden on rooftops shot 8 people during this PEACEFUL protest. Any other suggestions Rafi-joon?

3. An environment must be created in which all sides can express their opinion peacefully and without fighting or fear [hence, supporting peaceful demonstrations]. The means of mass communication, especially the Voice and Visage, should act effectively for achieving this goal.
Me: Since this “environment” has never been able to be “created” in the Islamic Republic and never will be since it is a dictatorship, I’ll pretend you are suggesting regime change! I’m glad you agree with the rest of the country Rafi-joon, welcome to the real world (not)!

4. All the political prisoners must be released immediately. “We should not allow our enemies to laugh at us and plot against us, because we have imprisoned some people. We need to tolerate each other,” he said.
Me: Finally, something constructive, although, if I may ask, what the hell took you so long? We’ve had political prisoners for 30 years, including during your “delightful” reign as president.

5. Those who have been hurt by recent events must be compensated. “We need to express our heart-felt and sincere sorrow for what has happened to them.”
Me: Akheee, che delsooz! What has “happened” to them is that the government in which you hold an extremely lofty position has ordered their murders. It is a disgrace that you don’t even have the balls to call it for what it is…murder, not something that “happened to them” as if all these deaths were “accidental.” Plus, who told you that compensation is enough?! Paying people off will not stop their anger or hurt. Did you ask the families what they wish would result from the death of their children? Thanks for showing what an insensitive cow you really are. How much “compensation” would suffice if they killed your child?

6. Independent means of mass communication (the press and other means) must be allowed to operate legally and within the framework of law. Their rights must not be limited, and the political establishment must not ignore their lawful rights.
Me: Ignoring “lawful rights?” Oh yea, you mean like the way you imprisoned writers and journalists just as much during your “presidential” term? Brilliant!

Well, you did it Rafi-joon! You gave us a fascinating lesson in “aakhoond-ism,” the genius ideololgy of how to make everyone think you are doing them a favor without really doing anything at all. You taught us that just because you have the power to oust Ali joon doesn’t mean you will because, well, it’s just too hard to let go of the wealth of half the infrastructure of that country, which is inevitably what would happen if you lost your beloved Islamic Republic. Also, he’s an old friend who spoke so highly of you at his last Namaz Jomeh, the least you can do is return the favor as you just did. After all, it’s a win-win for everyone: you pretend to be a “reformer” but really only give sermons and never mention who’s accountable for 30 years of torture, rape, mass murders of young and old…people will love you…you get to keep your wealth…and have plenty of petty cash to “compensate” families of the dead. But don’t fall asleep in your cozy bed just yet, because Agha Mojtaba is coming soon (a.k.a. “looloo khorkhoreh”) and I don’t think he’ll be as doting as daddy-Imam.

source for proposal outline translation: http://tehranbureau.com/rafsanjanis-sermon-split-leadership

photo: http://www.persianhub.org/off-topic-free-talk-publ…

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