The story of Parisa and Shahin, the love puzzle
Shahin was a teacher like me and as he had good certificates and degrees from England and Germany and he knows the important European languages such as French, English and German, the international or foreign school invited him to teach in their school. He was teacher in foreign school in Tehran and Shiraz. Shahin told me he has a lot of students who were half Iranian and half European and they had a lot of difficulties, especially concerning the religions. Their fathers married as a young students in Europe as he was student and so they brought European girls with themselves to Iran and later they married these girls and now the result of these marriage were beautiful girls and handsome boys who were also intelligent children.
Generally the marriage between people who are not relatives and they are from different nations, the children are more beautiful and clever. Most of my students were good and successful students. They were smart and fast.
It is clear that a child born in Moslem family generally will be Moslem and a child born in a Jewish family will be a Jewish child, or if he or she born in Zoroastrian , or Bahai family in a normal situation has tendency to the religion of his /her parents. But all or most of people know that the fundamentalist people concerning the religion think differently, they think that they are right and other people are wrong. For example a Jewish fundamentalist thinks that all other religions are false and only his religion is right.
A fundamental Jew does not even accept the Christ as a prophet, so he cannot believe Him as the son of God. And he says that the Christ is a wrong prophet. But as Christ was a Jew and came among the Jews and he did so many miracles for them and still they do not believe him that is a matter which is very strange. Suppose you see that the Christ made a death alive or he made from 5 loves of bread and two fishes such a huge amount of food that thousand of people can eat and still the food is over, or that he many times touch a dead person, woman, girl or a man, and they were alive and or he touch the eyes of a blind man and he can see or he touches the sick people and they get Ok and change the water to wine and other miracles and still the people said that you are wrong and not our Messiah. They see the miracles and they do not believe and we do not see the miracles and believe; it is a matter which should be discussed fairly.
As you read the Bible and even all four New Testaments, you see that all these miracles were in front of the people. If they were normal people and have a normal brain they should believe right away the Jesus as their Messiah. How is it possible that the people saw all these miracles and did not believe He was the son of God? I do not know if we can see the same history in other books beside the Bible. Or if any historian who were not Christian have written this miracles in his history book. It is amazing that the people saw so many miracles and still did not believe in Him? It is really questionable. How they could comprehend with themselves that so many miracles are worthless and the man who does this has no God power? If you see with your eyes now that a man touch a dead person and he/she stand up or he touches a blind man and he can see, or he change the water to expensive wine. Would you not believe in him as a man of God? I thing everybody if he/she sees this will respect and accept the person who does these miracle and not kill him? How is it possible that the Jews see all these and did not accept him, He brought also nice documents and a Holly book which is full of wise materials and nice words and still they do not believe in Him?
How nice is this sentences Love each other as I Loved You. Or forgive thousand times the people; love your neighbor as you love yourself.
The Christian now did not see his miracles but they read His words and they found them beautiful and good and they believe in His words and works together. They love Him with all his souls and spirits and the people who really believe in Him deeply, they obey Him and his words totally. But still with this entire situation the Jew do not believe in Him even not as a prophet. With other words the fifteen million Jew do not believe that the two billions Christian are right. They think they are wrong. The Moslems believe in Christ and Mohammad, but the Jew think that all the three billions people who believe in Christ and Mohammad are wrong. The Christian do not believe also in Mohammad and they think the Moslems are wrong. The radical Christians do not believe that Mohammad was a prophet from God. Even in Christianity are over six thousand religions or section like as Catlike, Baptist, Methodist, and Radical Churches and so on. Some of the religions under the Christian even say (the radical church) that all other churches are Satan church and only their church is the right one. The all these religions do not believe the Bahai faith and they say they are wrong. Each religion does not believe the religion younger than it. Or they do not believe the new prophets.
The Babb was persecuted in Tabriz and as I heard seven hundred fifty Christian soldier of Iran have shoot him, but he did not die. As the Babb was a Seyed and the ground child of Mohammad the Moslem people or soldier did not want to kill him or shoot at him. The head of Persian Christian soldiers; whose name was Sam Khan and was sort of general of that regiment, they were originally from Armenian; he went to Babb and asked him; if you are from God, tell me I will not command my soldier to shoot at you, Babb laughed and said if you really do not want to kill me, do your work; you cannot kill me. In the time that Babb was in his room and dictates something to his secretary, the soldiers came and wanted to take him by force, he said as long as I am not finished you cannot take me and kill me. They ignored him and took him, they hang him up and the Sam Khan commands his soldier to shoot. Seven hundred fifty rifles shoot at him and after a while that smoke and dirt gone, the Babb and his follower were not there and the people shouted the 12 imam had disappeared again. As the Shia waiting for returning of their 12 Imam and they say one time he was disappeared. The soldier found him in his room again and he was dictating to his sectary. As he sees the soldiers are coming to him, he stand up and said now I am finished and you can kill me.
Sam Khan did not want to shoot at him again, so he took his soldiers and have gone. So the government should find another general or regiment to kill the Babb. Sam Khan did not do the shooting again and many people who saw this action became the followers of Babb and they called themselves Babies. Or over thirty thousand of Bahais or Babies have been killed and torched, but they said they believe in Babb and Baha u lah. Which means the glory of God?
So you can see each religion does not believe the other one and you can imagine the children who born in a family of two or three religions will have a lot of difficulties.
And you know that the marriage in Iran and Europe is also different. The contacts between girls and boys are different, too. In Middle East or may be in many other countries especially in Moslem countries a girl should stay virgin until she marry legally. But in Europe to be virgin is not so important for the families. So a Moslem Iranian man who married European Christian girls will have some differences. The European mother will that her daughter be free to have contact with the boys and men and may be she likes even that her daughter has a boy friend. But a Moslem Iranian man does not like that. It is clear that in Iran some how the culture forces you to obey the condition and Islam dominate the thinking and cultures. But may be in Europe the mother or the European side has more right and the society accepts that. In Iran the society does not accept that a girl has experience before marriage. They categorize such girl as a cheap girl.
Parisa was a very beautiful girl; her mother was from Austria and her father was Iranian. Parisa was tall slim, and had a beautiful nice face. With green big eyes, and long dark blond hair. She was may be was about 175 cm. quite high and exact long. Her body and figure was rightly made. That means the father and mother did their best to create a nice beautiful girl. She speaks nicely and acts nicely, too. Her father was a university professor and her mother was may be a middle class Austrian woman. I did not see her mother, but I think she should be a beautiful woman, too.
They live in Tehran in a nice old cultural house in the middle of the city. But I think because of cultural problems the mother had divorced the professor and has gone to Austria. So the professor should help the three children alone without wife or their mother. And to grow three children without wife and their mother is a very hard work in Iran, especially for a professor.
Shahin my friend was also like Parisa, his mother was from Italy a Catholic and his father was a restricted Moslem who forced Shahin to pray Islamic prayers. Shahin go also through a divorce and his wife has left him. In a family party they see each other and get friends with each other. Shahin was a PhD high school teacher and Parisa was in the twelve grad of an Iranian high school. Their friendship was something like friendship between teacher and student or sort of father form and daughter form friendship. As the wife of Shahin influence the children to have no contact with the father. Shahin was about twenty years older than Parisa. Parisa after finishing the high school has more contacts with Shahin as both of them were half European and half Iranian so they attract each other very fast and the get to a deep friendship. As Parisa liked Shahin, so she invited him to her father’s house and Shahin get a good friend of the family, he was now friend with the father and her brothers.
Parisa has a lot of contacts with Shahin, as she wanted to past the entry exam of the university in Tehran or she wanted to be accepted a university in Austria or Germany. And Shahin as a good teacher helped her a lot. As Parisa was half European, or she had European passport, so if she wanted to study there should have another exam for entering the university. So Shahin was a good source for Parisa to be helped to pass the exam in Germany or Austria. As Shahin has studied in Germany and passed the entire exam over there was a very helpful personality for Parisa. Parisa has a sort of engage or boy friend, so she brought him to Shahin to learn the European languages from Shahin. Shahin who has studied in Europe and know the European cultures was a good friend to Parisa. They were many hours together and they were good friends. The father of Parisa was also a professor and so he did understand Shahin very good, as they were sort of colleges. As the wife of Shahin divorced him and the children were with her, and she did not let the children come to Shahin, and the condition in Tehran was also difficult for the people like Shahin and Parisa, half European people, so they both left Iran for Europe.
They keep in contacts and in Europe they have a lot of telephone contacts with each other and both of them were happy of this friendship. Now Shahin has lost his wife and his three children, it was nice for him to have contact with a younger girl, who remind him about his family some how. Shahin was about 45 and his son was 15, the other son 13 and his daughter 11 and Parisa was about 25. So she was something between his children and his wife who was now about 35 years old. I think the father of Parisa was about 60 or 65 years old. Shahin and Parisa were very good friends and understand each other very good.
Shahin was a young father to Parisa as Parisa’ s father was over 40 years older than his daughter, but Shahin was only 20 years older than her. May be Parisa liked Shahin as a young father as he was 20 years younger than her father. These two kept the friendship and visited each other. They were not far from each other and they could easily visit each other with the train or car. I think many times Parisa has gone to Shahin and as Shahin had a bigger house, she could stay there for a while and have some rest in his house.
Shahin worked in an office in Austria and did research work for them and had a good salary. Parisa was also student in Germany and worked also as a secretary in a company. Parisa had difficulties to enter the German university and Shahin could help her to pass the exam to enter the German university. It was holiday time and Parisa called one day Shahin if she can spend the holiday in his big house in Austria. Shahin was living in a nice house with an old woman who helps him to keep the house running and cleaned for him and cooked also. Shahin was really happy that Parisa want to stay for a longer time in his house, and clearly he said sure, you can come and stay what ever and how long you like. Parisa was a good friend and has invited many time Shahin to visit her in Germany, but Shahin was so busy with the work, that he could not get any holiday to go to her and have some rest. Second Parisa has only a room in a apartment and if Shahin would go there, she should sleep in the kitchen or in the living room, and or Shahin should go to hotel, but in Austria the situation was different, Shahin had a house out of the city of Wine and the house had 5 bedrooms, three bathrooms and a big living room and a nice garden. They could have really fun there.
Parisa and Shahin were very close to each other and they were very nice to each other. Shahin brought also his family also his divorced wife and the three children to Austria, they live for a while in his house, until the wife after one and half year got a job and they left Shahin again. Now after five years, his son was twenty and works in a good position and also was student at the university. His other son was eighteen and his daughter was sixteen. No his ex-wife had a good job and his son had a good job and they were in a good shape. And it was the Shahin plan to bring them there and supported them until they could be by their own. But even after all of these, as soon as his ex-wife could support herself, she left him again and did not let the children come to his father again. In the time she needs Shahin she was nice and friendly, but in the time that she does not need his help, she was indifferent and cruel to him again. She was a very funny woman; her parents were very uneducated so she did not have a good education either.
Now after five years that they know each other Parisa wanted to visit him and stay in his house for a longer time. I always enjoyed their loving and nice friendship, such a nice family. Shahin told me in the time that Parisa entered my house; it was like a huge amount of nice flowers entered my house. After my family left me for the second time, I felt very lonely in the big house and now a young, beautiful woman will enter my house. She was like a punch of flowers, a young lady with a beautiful face and laughing and good friend who understand me also very good. Parisa helped me to keep the house nicer and more beautiful; her woman touch changed the situation. She filled the empty place of my family totally, and the pain of their departure was filled with the presence of Parisa. The whole empty space was filled with Parisa presence and action. She put fresh flowers from the garden every where. She cleaned everywhere tip top and the water in swimming pool were so clear like the tear of the eyes. Everything shines from cleanness and every where was happiness of a presence of a young lady in the house. As a queen was in my house told Shahin to me. He invited me for several occasion also and the beautiful Parisa served a nice dinner or lunch for us both. She cooked so nice and served so nice and sit in her beautiful dress next to us that we enjoyed the food in the presence of her. Now I was fifty years old and she was only thirty , but it seems that this age differences was not important for Parisa, she came with me for riding, cycling, tennis playing, walking and picnic in the nature. She alone filled my whole four family place in my heart. We were over one month together and we did everything together, I took her to opera, and showed her the nice places in Wine and we canoeing together and went to different parks and place. She was always with me and I enjoyed a lot her presence. I had a younger friend and a nice friend. The Parisa. I was so light as I was about her age. I did not even feel that I am twenty years older than the young lady.
Parisa had also in Tehran a boy friend, and may be she had also a relationship with him and she was I think even very serious with him, but why they did not marry with each other ; I did not know and I did not want to question also. I think Parisa was upset as they were separated. I do not know if the boy was rich or not and why he left Parisa or Parisa left him. I did not know that. As I thought she does not want to speak about this matter any more. Parisa has another friend, her name was Leila, she had also a German mother and Persian father, but her father died early and her mother was a very simple German woman. Leila was student at the university and she was very successful girl in the university, she studied hard and had BS in Chemistry. She had a very good job in a German company. Her mother and she were criticizing Parisa and they told me she live here with a man and stay with him in his apartment; in the Islamic republic ; it is even dangerous to stay with a man in the same house without being married.
I think they separated from Parisa as they thought she could bring problems also for them. Leila was more and less like a Persian girl, she gets a good job and married and I think she lived with the husband and mother together. But Parisa had wasted her time, in a Persian manner; she did not marry the man with whom she was many years together and the man I think left her for USA. And Parisa was behind. Shahin asked me if Parisa can go to USA with me and can find the man whom I think she still loved. But Parisa has no address from him and to find a person in USA without having his address is not a simple thing.
I think that is the problem of most beautiful girls, they have no chance to have a normal life if they are not clever enough. I had several very beautiful students, and sorrowfully most of them have not had a normal life, they were misused and abused. As they attract many men to themselves and very easily they enter a trap. The other problem that Parisa had, because she did not have a mother in the family and mostly my beautiful students who were abused by the society had not a clever mother. For example, Parisa even suggested to Leila to live with a man also together, but her German mother was against that very seriously and she said to Leila and Parisa as long as you live in Iran, you should live like a traditional Persian girl, if you are in Europe the story is different. Over there may be you can have a boy friend, but here it is not good to have a boy friend. So as such girl like Parisa had no mother close in their life so they were easily felt in love with a man; may be to replace the love of mother. Leila lost the father, her father died, but her mother takes care of her like a very good friend and mother. But the mother of Parisa was not present with her in Tehran; may be even not in Germany or Austria.
Shahin continue the time that Parisa was in my house, the time was very nice and good. We were now over one month together and we see each other every day. After my work I spend the rest of the day with Parisa. One day Parisa start to speak with Shahin about her life and she continued dear friend Shahin; I am getting an old maid now. I am getting old. I am thirty years old and not married. I do not have any degree from university. I feel like an old girl. Do you think it is late for me? Do you think I still have chance to marry? I remembered my lady college whom worked with me; in the time they were thirty and not married, they were very worried and asked their entire men friend to help them to find a husband for them. I remember the sister of one of my friend told me; I will marry the first man who asks me to marry me. She was only twenty seven and had a master degree. Parisa had only the high school diploma from Iran, which was even not recognized totally by European society and school system. She should finish a college in Europe to be equivalent to European high school diploma.
I was listening Parisa; as she was opening her secret with me. But most Iranian girls who are over twenty six and they finished the university love to marry soon and get children and a normal life. They are virgin and love to marry and have a real husband. Some of them even were upset why they did not marry before going to university and why they did not marry the first man who asked them to marry him. They were really very worried. A girl who was twenty seven and had a master degree said to me she made the biggest mistake in her life, instead of studying and getting master degree; it was cleverer if she married one of the men who wanted her hand as a wife. She sent them out to get a better one and she thought after the finishing the university she will have a better chance. Now I have finished my master degree and I am working for over one year and nobody ask me for my hand any more. I think I lost my whole life. She was very nervous and said you know that we are virgin and to be virgin with thirty is a funny think and it is not normal. This young woman or old girl said that she sends a lot of good and normal men who wanted to marry her away. It was cruel what I did to that man. And now no man come to me and asks me to marry me.
With all these matters in my mind, I was listening to Parisa. I thought Parisa is also very upset and nervous as she is not married.
It was the second times and later the third times and fourth time that Parisa speak about this matter. She was showing a lot of interest to be married. She said even my father loves me to be married and have a normal life. I thought why Parisa speak about this matter so many times with me. I am just a friend, like older brother and or younger father. I do not have any good friend to introduce to her, as all men have girl friend already. In Europe all or most of the boys and young men have a girl friend. Nobody is alone and or free. But Parisa is a very beautiful girl; she can attract any man to herself. And she had a lot of boy friends as she told me. But why none of them marry her? Is there any problem?
Another time she started again that she loves to have a husband and children and her own house. As I heard in the past from my college in the office or as I was teacher from the other female teacher who were looking for a husband. I told her, dear Parisa, you are so beautiful, you have such a nice body, tall and beautiful, such a nice hair and such nice green big eyes, many man want to marry you. You are like a sun full of beauty. The first time I saw you my ex wife told me wow this girl is very beautiful. Why you say these thing and why you are so negative. She laughed bitterly and continued I had a lot of boy friend, but we could not marry. Now I am thirty years old, with a bad history, and only a Persian high school diploma. Who will marry me? I calculated the whole situation and thought may be Parisa want me to be encouraged to ask her to marry me. And may be she wants that I suggest or propose a marriage asking and ask for her hand. I thought after over one month with me, may be she felt in love with me and want me to proposal a marriage questioner. So she wants not to be alone and she will be with me.
Until that day I saw in Parisa a daughter of mine and a good friend. But now Parisa tried to show me that she will more than a friend from me. And I thought she is expecting my proposal for marriage. May be she sees in me a young father and wanted just to say her feeling about marriage and life. And may be she is sure that I will keep my position just like a friend or young father. In reality I never thought to marry her; as she was younger than me and I felt more a relationship like a father to her and never saw her as a woman whom I can marry. I thought she trust me so much that she started to say her feeling. She continued that her father loves her to be marrying with a good man who is serious and so I can have children and a comfortable life and will be free from these boy friends and young people who want just to be engaged almost for ever. They are not man to take the responsibilities for a life; they want fun and a beautiful girl close to them. Some of them were my fiancé for a long time and they never asked me for marriage. I am tired for these men who want me to be their fiancé for ever. They do not have courage to be a man and marry me. They are happy to have a fiancé. I want a real man who can marry me and make me happy and I will make him also very happy. Or at least I love to have a man whom cans I love very much and can make him happy and I will be than satisfied. I do not care if I am happy or not; important is that I can make him happy. I wish to make my future husband very happy. With these words I saw tears in Parisa beautiful green eyes. I moved, too and try to be a good friend to her.
I said with a lot of sympathy to her, oh my dear Parisa, with the nice and mature words you said to me; you should not be worried at all. You are still very young and soon you will find a nice mature husband who can make you happy, too. I do not know what problem Parisa had? The religion problem or the cultural problem? Even in Iran Parisa went to the church. And she knows the West culture. The very white skin of her and her blond her; make no difference between the North European race and her. She was like a German girl. We have a lot of very white Iranian with blond or golden hair, but the structure of her face and body was very similar to Germans. If she does not say her last name, which was a Persian name, nobody could even imagine that she is not German.
Parisa looked at me and laughed again bitterly and said dear Shahin, you should feel my problem. She has religion problem. For the Moslem; she is not a Moslem and for the German she has an Iranian Moslem father. The people do not mention this to her, but that is the real problem. So she cannot marry a normal Iranian or a normal European. We walked out and after few minutes she told me; nobody told me clearly why they do not marry me. And I know that is because of religion. An Iranian normal man will not marry a girl, whose mother left the father and divorced him and went back to Europe. Than I had an Armenian boy friend. He wanted just sex and he was not in the position to accept the responsibilities and marry me.
For a moment; I thought may be me can be a good friend and husband for my dear friend and this young nice girl. And I can make her happy. For this reason I said, my dear Parisa, do you want to marry me? I propose you for a marriage for myself and will try to do my best to make you the happiest woman in this area. Do you accept it? I thought with all discussion and conversation we had, she will be happy for my proposal. And she will say oh yes my dear Shahin. Oh yes. I will accept you as my husband. She got quite; she did not give a positive and or a negative answer to me, but she said I have to think deeply about this proposal. I said to her, sure you can think as long as you like and than you can answer me. When ever you have the answer you can give your answer to me. I did not want to get your answer right away.
Then I remember a girl who showed a lot of interest about me and she encouraged me to propose a marriage suggestion and after she prepared me and showed me a lot of love and interest; I asked her if she can marry me and she said no. I left her, but after few days she called me and asked me to go to her house. And again she encouraged me to ask her again dear Mina; do you like to be my wife and again she said no. I went back home and again for the third time, she called me and invited me to her house and did a nice dinner and was very nice and friendly with me. Again she encouraged me to ask her again for marriage. Again I asked her my dear Mina; do you like or wish or want to marry me? She said no. I left her and I said I will never ask the same question for the fourth time. Later as she starts to call me; I have always an excuse not to see her. Some Persian girls are like this; they love to get the proposal for marriage, but they love to say no.
I saw that she was a little bit upset and may be she thought I am just like her father and she did not accept me to proposal her for marriage. We walked a little bit in the silence and than Parisa said how you do want to marry me. You know that I had a lot of boy friends. And I had a lot of sex affairs with them. For Iranian culture, I am a very cheap girl. I told her, dear Parisa, the past is past. I just want that after marriage we be like loyal husband and wife. I can forget what ever you did in the past; I have also children and I was also married. So this is equal. We will start a new life together. I will do my best to make you happy. She continued I am just a girl with high school diploma and you are PhD from a very famous university in Germany how can we be together with a big gap of knowledge between us. And I will even help you to get your BS MS or your PhD I will help you and teach you to get your degree and be a lady and academic personality. And dear Parisa if you get upset from my proposal and you think I was not in a position to give such suggestion to you. You can forget the whole thing and we will be again just simple friends like in the past. You are like a part of my family. The my marriage proposal was not for sex as you are beautiful and most people as you mentioned wanted you for sexual propose. I love you as a friend and it was not sexual interest alone in my mind to give that suggestion to you.
Please, do not think that my proposal was, because you are beautiful. But because I thought you are a good friend and you have a good personality and I can make you happy. And generally in a marriage both side should have a lot of interest. And they should be sure that they love each other and can live together. If one side had doubt; it will be difficult to start a life together. Only if you are sure; we can marry. I thought you have selected me as a husband also. So if I am wrong, please forgive me and forget my proposal. She told me again that I should give her some days to think. I told her, I am fifty years old, and with this age I cannot expect to marry a European virgin young girl. I can marry a girl between thirty or fourty and normal woman or girl in these ages is not virgin in Europe. You know and I know this fact. All beautiful girls have more than one boy friend and may be also just sex friends. Parisa said very seriously; let us talk about this matter later.
It was the last day that Parisa was in my house and this day she wanted to travel back to Germany. She closed her suitcases and she bought a nice gift for me also. With the gift it was an envelope in the red color and she said I should promise her not to open the envelop till she calls me from Germany. I will call you and will give you permission to open the letter. If I do not call you, you should promise me never open the letter. Do you give this promise to me? I said sure I promise that as long as you do not give me the permission to open the envelop I will never open it.
Parisa went to the train and wave her hands for me. She went back to Germany. Two days later she called me and said to me I can open the letter. The letter was very confusing and was not a clear answer. What I could understand was this, as she has a lot relationship with other man, and she thing it is not good to marry such a man like me, as I have a lot of degree and she is a simple girl with just a high school diploma. Than we have differences in thinking and ages. I wish I could marry a man like you as you could be like a sun in my life and you can make my life warm and with light. I can forget the darkness and I could even make a man like you very happy in the life. But I am sure it will be possible. Her letter and action was very strong for me. She could simple ask me and explain to me. I know that she had as a beautiful girl a lot of men in her life, but they were not serious for marriage, and they gone already. After that telephone her contacts with me were very seldom and almost cut. She did not even send a card for Now Ruz or Christmas. And she did not answer my letters and cards that I sent to her. I do not know why she wanted to be so cold with me and why she wanted to cut or friendship relationship? May be you can guess; I could not even guess. I did not want anything from her, my proposal for marriage was because she encouraged me to ask for her hand. She actually asked me indirectly to marry me, and I asked directly. I did not want to speak about this matter with her father.
After she did not give a clear answer or a positive answer right away and she wanted time to think; I gave time to her to think properly about the proposal. After that I even ask that she can forget totally my proposal and please, forgive me if my proposal was unexpected for you. Forget and forgive me. I took back my suggestion and ask her to be simple friend as we were before. Any way this is the condition of my suggestion. I did not understand what I did wrong that Parisa tried to have less and less contact with me; even in the that I call her; she tries to short the conversation and cut it as fast as possible. I did not understand this puzzle; may be you can understand better the puzzle of friendship and Love.