In key address, Khamenei denounces entire concept of human rights

Speaking before a cheering audience of hardline clerics and top security officials that and with his controversial son Mojtaba symbolically by his side, the Supreme Leader lashed out at the entire concept of human rights yesterday.

“The whole concept of human rights is a repulsive western idea that has no place in my Iran or in my Islam,” Khamenei argued. All it does is corrupt my people.”

The Supreme Leader told his cheering supporters where all troubles really started.

“My people were totally happy with the Islamic Republic until foreign spies corrupted them. Left to themselves, the people of Iran would never want freedom, human rights, prosperity or democracy in the first place. Such ideas are alien to the people’s nature. For such rot we must put blame were it belongs–on the sinister influence of western media and politicians.”

Khamenei then asssured his followers that the overwhelming majority of Iranians were very happy with life in the Islamic Republic but a minority was trying to change this.

“All so-called human rights leaders in Iran are witting or unwitting agents of foreign powers and are therefore subject to any and all punishment,” according to Khamenei. “Any subject who demands such things is obviously guilty of treason and of crimes against God who I personally represent.”

“Sometimes a father must do what is best for his child even if a child resists,” he said sadly.

(This satire brought to you by F.G. but accurately reflects the Supreme Leader’s position).

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