I saw Leonard Cohen probably for the last time! He even announced that this may be his last performance in the Bay Area! I was in tears following this big sad lump in my throat way before he said it…
I sat in my good seat (Thank you Matt) 15 minutes early, trying to orient myself to the atmosphere of the concert hall. I immediately began an introductory chat with this sweetest retired teacher, a devoted Cohen fan sitting on my right. To my left however, there was this 30 something Iranian couple who had already started a verbal fight, it sounded like, about how much she kept from him during all those years of dating. The puny looking man in designer clothes with the Liza Minelli nose job was accusing his plump date with long straightened hair and department-store make up, wearing body hugging two piece stretch in black, “ahmagh e bishooor all you did for me all those years was to open your legs and hide your K..! that’s all you did for me! don’t you know there are thousands of techniques? thousands that others women would proudly experiment with me? (baa eftekhar mikhaan mano bekonan?)…
I could not believe this! WTH?! “didn’t I give you enough flowers, goosht and disco nights? didn’t I even introduce you fuckin moron to my sister?!….” I was just appalled feeling completely embarrassed for them meanwhile thinking should I let them know that I spoke Persian?! I was nervously staring at my cell phone pretending to allow the couple some space when thankfully my cell vibrated and it was my sweet cousin ( a huge Cohen fan) wishing me a wonderful night at the concert. Already in need of a break from the avazis on the left, I took the call. Returned to my seat 8 o’clock sharp with my heart pounding, exchanging a friendly smile with the older lady on the right. She whispered in my ear: “do you know what they’re saying to each other?” to which I replied, “most unfortunately yes!”, she gave me a smile of empathy and suggested to change seats with her son in-law three seats away. I thanked her but let her know that being a student of mindfulness I should be able to overcome the abusive exchange once Cohen begins his thing.
Within seconds of his last fohsh “to dokhtare jendeye nafahm…” and her responding giggles, once “Dance with Me” was in the air, the boy and girl grabbed each other tight! kissing and making out (I mean within seconds really)…I could even smell the alcohol on his breath! Yuk! and her pleas “k..am kheeseh baraat…” double yuk! Silently I was going EVA, EVA!! Where am I?! Tried to focus on Leonard Cohen, but they Would Not Stop! OK….Alright, I said to myself, damn it Monda you’re resisting them too hard, check into your transference woman… and just let’em be! Let’em be I thought. I took off my glasses where he and she were total blur… and I got to be with Leonard’s music and only him. Could life get any better? Being at a concert far away from home, Alone, for the first time in my Life, not worrying about anything, literally feeling wonderful!
UNTIL, the second set when I heard the thumping on the seats in my front row ….Had to put my glasses back on! Angry faces turned around staring at my row… Oh my god (don’t even believe in her/him/it)! Nose Job’s hand was in her vagina up to his wrist, while she had her plump leg almost on my lap! The black lace on her black nylon thigh-highs completely showing and her purple g-string half way down around her knees….she was intensely hitting the front seats with her black 6 inch spikes and almost as loud as Cohen singing “YesssYesssYesssss Yessss….!!!!”
Driving the long drive back home, I felt totally content with that Amazing Leonard Cohen experience, even if interfered by that most obnoxious, confused and uncivilized couple.
After all the ugly abusive exchanges in their mother tongue, why the hell was she letting out “Yessss” ???!! and Why to Him?!