(((three parentheses means that person is thinking to self)))
Hajiagha and Roya are going on a weekend getaway
H: What is Bed & Breakfast? They serve you breakfast in bed?
R: Not usually, not this place we’re going to
H: So why we’re not going to a regular hotel?
R: Bed & Breakfast is more romantic
H: Aahh romantic! I am very romantic! hehehe
They arrive at the B&B
H: Hello, hello, hov-r-ru, hi, hi
Hostess: Welcome to Astaneh bed & breakfast, let me show you your room
H: Thank you thank you, hi, hello
R: Stop hi and helloing so much!
H: Okay, okay, hi, hi, hello
Hostess: Here is your room and you share these 2 bathrooms with the 4 rooms in this floor
Hostess: Yes you share the bathrooms and there is the kitchen, also to be shared
H: This communism?
R: Thank you ma’am we’ll get settled in
Hostess: Okay let us know if you need anything. We live right below your room
Hajiagha and Roya start to unpack
H: I don’t know about this place. Why they call it Astaneh? Is it Astaneh Razavi?
R: Romance Haji, try to be romantic
(((what’s romantic about this stinking old place?)))
H: Okay maybe I read you another poem
R: No not another poem please. Let’s just relax and unwind here, away from work and all that urban stress
Later that night in bed
H: Come here sweetie
R: Haji you look so sexy tonight, have you been working out?!
H: Yes, yes, I’ve been lifting weights. Mikhay barat peck biyam?!
R: No that’s ok. Just rub my shoulders
H: Do you want me to sing a song too?
R: Like what song?
H: Like Ameneh
R: Haji don’t talk
Later while getting intimate
R: Haji slower, easy, easy. This is a big old spring mattress and it squeaks loudly. The bed itself has loose parts and the headboard and everything makes noise. The hostess lives right below us too. So sshhh, quiet!
H: What? I can’t move?
R: The bed’s springs are old and bad. Hurry up
H: Why are we whispering? I like to hee haw
R: Hee haw? Of all the words you don’t understand you like this hee haw?
H: I can’t spin it like I’m a tire spinning on ice!
R: Well hurry up and finish it
H: Can your Manijeh do a little belly dancing?
R: My Manijeh is not athletic
H: Well this is NOT romantic!
R: Quit whining. Be quiet
H: We paid all this money and my Bijan is grounded?
R: I’m going to kick your Bijan in the balls if you don’t be quiet and finish it
H: Okay I’ll go side to side instead
R: Bubba be quiet!
H: Should I just leave my Bijan in there to soak?
R: My Manijeh is not basmati rice! Aslan take it out! OUT!
H: SUCKS to this bed and breakfast! Ah!
Later for breakfast
H: Why they call this country breakfast?
R: Because you need a good hearty breakfast for a day full of activities
H: Activities? Can we go back to the room and get active there? All the neighbors seem to be out of the house now
R: We can go for a walk and later tour the old town
(((I hate walking, why walk when there is a car?)))
H: I don’t like old stuff
R: It is romantic
H: Romantic again? Like shared bathrooms and squeaky bed? What are we going to do later?
R: Well we can go for a hay ride and then you can hee haw in the country!
H: Heeeee hawww
Photo caption: Astara, by Caspian Sea