Q: What can cause a person to be arrested under your regime?
Khamenei: Anyone I choose can be arrested anytime I choose. That includes even high Ayatollahs, ex- cabinet members and presidents and those who played leading roles in overthrowing the Shah.
Q: But aren’t criminal charges needed?
Khamenei: The arbitrary nature of my personal justice system is an Islamic virtue. We may or may not make some up later if we find it useful. However, charges aren’t essential to hold someone forever if I choose. I operate a ton of secret prisons for such things.
Q: People say you’ve arrested and executed thousands of your people for things what wouldn’t be considered criminal in most normal countries. Is that so?
Khamenei: Who said Iran was a normal country? It is Islamic and I am the Supreme Leader after all.
For example, everyone knows that I was a sissy boy when I was younger. My classmates would would kick me and call me names. Girls would laugh at me. Now they are rotting in my jails. I never could tolerate anyone who disagreed with me. Now I can simpy charge anyone with “crimes against God.”
The vermin in the street keep demanding satanic things like human rights, fair elections, a free press, and open, non-rigged trials. They would never want such things if not for westerners. Look at that creep Mohsen Amrolalayi who walked around advocating children’s rights. Can you believe it? I had the him arrested on Jan. 23 and he is still in solitary confinement in Evin Prison. I chuckle every night thinking about the fate of such enemies under MY system.
Q. Is it true that you sometimes “liquidate” troublemakers outright?
Khamenei (smiling broadly): Do you remember what happened when Khoumeini’s Big Mouth younger son started criticizing me? The fool thought he could get away with it because of his famous daddy. He knew I couldn’t afford to arrest and try him so he thought he was safe. Now he moulders in a grave while I live better than the Shah ever did and enjoy more power. That is Islamic Justice! That is my justice!
Recent circumstances have compelled me to revive my death squads. My boys will never be arrested or prosecuted. My police have strict orders not to interfere no matter what they see happening directly in front of them.
(Khamenei whispers to moderator: Did you know I started out in a one-room shack but my family now owns all seven of the Shah’s former palaces and more than $36 billion?)
Q: Do you place any restrictions on the treatment of your political prisoners?
Khamenei: My jailers must wear masks or else blindfold their prisoners during interrogations, beatings, rapes, etc..
Q. Some people claim you often arrest relatives of your critics. Is that so?
Khamenei: Sometimes one must do bad things so that good can prevail. Let’s say I must have a confession but a prominent critic who resists torture. Beating, torturing or raping kin in a nearby room can be so inspirational.
Q: Why don’t you refuse to permit fair, open and non-rigged public trials?
Fair trials are an offense against Allah. On such matters I am expert. Besides, who can force me to change?
We make up accusations, induce confessions as needed. No journalists, members of the public, a jury of peers, defense attorneys etc. to screw up the desired outcome. To let a defendant speak in his own defense would be insane.
A nice pre-trial beating and a little public humilation helps my people understand the that non-conformity has a high price. Let them watch as I force a former colleague in our 1979 revolution to enter my courts dressed in pajamas with head lowered and face thin. It sends a valuable message to all to the masses sitting in front of their TVs back home.