I admit I do not know Arabic, so when I began to read Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Norooz’s good will message, from get go I had to stop and try to figure out a way to translate his beginning statement into Farsi. At first I thought the sentence was a surah from Quran, so I did the usual word search in some of the websites that offer free translation of Quran with the added capability to do specific word search, but my effort was fruitless, since it turned out that the sentence in question is not from Quran. So then I tried Google Translate. After doing some minor tweaking of the words, this is want my understanding of the sentence, according to Google translate, is meant to mean:
“O! Allah, hurry the arrival of vagina, wellness, victory, and make us the best associates and supporters of those who were martyred in his hands (در راهء کُس شهید شدن)”
Finding “vagina”, “victory”, and “wellness” encouraged me to read the rest of his statement.
Blah, blah, blah,… “Humans also have winter and spring. Blah, blah, blah,… (حركت كمالي فقط و فقط از طرق حبل الله، حلقه واسط بين زمين و آسمان امكان پذير است ) “Movement towards perfection is only possible through Tether of Allah, the interface ring between earth and heaven.” Again, I could not find this (حبل الله) anywhere in Quran, maybe it’s there, maybe not, but what he is saying is that perfection is only possible through an interface between earth and heaven. Don’t you think so? So, for example, I always want to make my love making techniques perfect, but I always fail, but fortunately I now know why. I need to move somewhere between heaven and earth to get it perfect. And now I know when he talks about vagina, wellness, and victory he must be talking about those things in that specific place between heaven and earth. It must be lovely up there.
“The Winter Human has an appearance of a human being but in reality he is frozen and fruitless… Up to today human society has lived in winter… spring of human achievement is only attainable through the establishment of monotheism and justice in this world by Imam Zaman.” Really! These are fighting words! There are so many billions of people on this planet, most of them are not Jews, Christians, or Muslims, or all of them combined. Most of them are none monotheists. But, most of them are, in the eyes of Mahmoud, sinners. They worship idols, however most of them are the most peaceful and loving people in this world, so how this “peace-loving” Imam Zaman is going to convert these people to monotheism!
“Imam Zaman is the perfect spirit governing the universe… ” Really! What happened to God, Allah, or Yahweh! “This era is the era of Imam Zaman’s appearance… The belief in this truth and abundant hope… is the rule of the world by Imam Zaman.” Really! I wonder what he is going to do to Norooz when he’ll rule the world. Oh, here is my answer, “Norooz is becoming universal.” Hallelujah! I guess we don’t need Imam Zaman’s help then to make it universal.
“In this election, new methods of humane and true democracy and good governance to the people were seen by the people of the world.” I don’t think so. I think what they saw was murder of innocent people. They saw people dying right in front of their eyes, they saw torturers and murders getting away with… well, getting away with torture and murder. They also saw thugs beating the crap out of people, and let’s not forget there are rumors of people, men and women, being raped under custody. Is this what you’re talking about when you say “new methods of humane and true democracy, Mr. President?”
“Today our nation is very happy, more loving, more determined, and stronger than last year and will always move towards their high goals.” You got that part right, and they are going to keep on doing it till they kick your ass out of Office.
Okay, (حوصلم سر رفت). How much bull shit do you think I can take in one day?
Footnote: Here is the real translation of what he said in Arabic at the beginning of his statement about Norooz:
“Oh, God, hasten the arrival of Imam Al- Mahdi and grant him good health and victory and make us his followers and those who attest to his rightfulness.” It’s clearly not from Quran.
May God help us! (If there is one)