LA psychologist: So what can I do for you today Mr. Aryan Hakhameshipoor Ledeen Zade?
Aryan Hakhameshipoor Ledeen Zade: My depression is getting worse and you don’t do shit about it.
– Ah, your depression. Well you see it’s kind of out of my hands. I can’t really conjure up a revolution for you out of the blue. All I can do is listen to you and help you with your complexes.
– It’s not you who should listen to me, it’s the imprisoned Iranian people I am after. Why won’t they listen to me?
– Have you asked them why?
– Yes. My fingers are hurting from punching the keyboard day in, day out, but nobody listens to me in Iran.
– Can’t you just then be satisfied with responses from your likeminded here in LA?
– It was enough for a while but not anymore. I need real people.
– Real people?
– Yes. The ones that count, the ones in Iran.
– Can you describe them for me? What is it that makes them real?
– They are hardworking people working under harsh and brutal conditions under the IRI. They are being raped, executed, and whipped by the regime goons on a daily basis.
– You mean kind of like NYC or Chicago?
– No, No, No. This is done as a policy by the IRI.
– Oh, you mean like Abu Ghraib.
– You can be such an asshole sometimes. Are you sure you are not an IRI agent. They are every where, you know.
– Sure they are.
– And I noticed you have a beard.
– Back to the subject.
– Yes. Why don’t they listen to me, Doc?
– Well, from what I have heard from you, I guess they are too busy with their daily lives to have time to sit in front of a PC and follow your sermons. Besides it’s their necks that are on the line not yours.
– But I want them to be free. Why don’t they let me liberate them? Why?
– Why don’t you go back to Iran and ask them? And since you want to reach a broader audience, I suggest you take a megaphone with you. They are pretty cheap in Toys R US these days. They can also play some soothing melodies…that might help you (giggles, giggles).
– Are you out of your mind? I’ll get arrested the minute I open my mouth.
– But isn’t it what you want the others to do?
– No, Yes, No. Don’t screw with my mind. I don’t want to be the man on the street. I want to lead…from here. I don’t like you Doc.
– But what if they don’t want to be liberated by you? What then?
– We’ll liberate them one way or the other Doc. Just wait and see. First we’ll promote sanctions, and when they have lost a million or two of their dear ones, they will know how to listen. If not, there is nothing like a couple of hundred thousands bombs that opens people’s ears. Then we’ll go in with our Uncle and show them what happens when they don’t get liberated voluntarily.
– But that experiment went terribly wrong in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Somalia…
– I know, but it’s a learning process and we go by trial and error. We have a better chance of success this time, besides what’s a couple of million when there are 70 million of them.
– Ooops your time is up. Let’s see when we can squeeze you in my tight schedule. There are lots of your friends who have used up my calendar. Why do you all come in clusters? First it was January, and now mid June. Do you have a date you prefer for our next meeting?
– Not yet, I’ll have to consult….