Despite all the heated debates and rhetoric coming from the secular and western-educated supporters of the Islamic Republic, I have always believed that not only they are not on the regime’s payroll, but deep down they agree with the rest of us about the evil nature of this regime. But somehow, somewhere along the way their egos got bruised by a bad date or a redneck neighbor, and as a result they began identifying themselves with Hamas, Hezbolah and the rest of the chest beating crowds.
So in order to bring these misguided brothers and sisters back to our fold and under the big tent, I have devised an easy and confidential 12-step program, modeled after Alcoholic Anonymous (not affiliated with Anonymouse, Anonymous Observer, or any other anonymous Iranian.com reader!)
Here is all they need to do and say!
1. We admit that we are powerless over our obsession with Israel – Palestinian conflict.
2. We have come to believe that we need help from our wiser brothers and sisters on Iranian.com who could restore us to sanity.
3. We have made a decision to turn our arguments over to the care of reason and logic.
4. We have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and have realized that as western-educated, secular, US Citizens that do not practice Islam, we have nothing in common with the fanatic, stone-throwing, child-beating, rapists and murderers of the I.R. regime.
5. We admit to the other readers on Iranian.com and other human beings the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We are entirely ready to have the sane readers on Iranian.com remove all these defects of characters.
7. We humbly ask them to remove our shortcomings.
8. We have made a list of all persons on this site that we have amused and entertained by our exaggerated claims about the military might of the I.R., and have become willing to make amends to them all.
9. We will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would deprive them or others from their daily dose of laughter.
10. We will continue to take personal inventory by monitoring Press TV, IRNA, ISNA and other I.R. propaganda tools and promptly admit that it is all a bunch of crap.
11. We will seek through continued participation in logical dialog with the sane readers of Irania.com to improve our conscious.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we will try to carry this message to the other misguided I.R. supporters elsewhere, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
On the second thought, we are having such a good time messing with these folks. Let’s not change anything!
Also, the more hits and clicks the better it is for J.J.!