Republic of Retards

In our extended family, only one person became a Pasdar and was fully integrated into the IRI machination. Mostafa was verifiably a retard – not that there is anything wrong with being born a retard – except that in our case, this retard and many more were recruited and organized to form the core of the fascist Islamist regime.  

Mostafa could never finish the high school, maintain a steady job or start a family. As a young boy, he was very timid and slow, often the butt of so many jokes and juvenile teasing. But after the revolution, he found great solace in the rotten bosom of the Pasdar Komiteh, which lived on the dedication and sacrifices of such retards.  

You see, among the Shah’s opposition, the National Front club was dominated by the suit-and-tie wearing technocrats; the Leftists were populated with the secular intellectuals; and the Mojahidin ran on the back of educated Muslims. But remember this … after a bloody revolution or chaos; nothing beats a well organized gang of retards. Hitler’s brown shirts, Mussolini’s black squad and Stalin’s Cheka were built on those dumb bricks. And yes, there was no shortage of retards in Iran!  

At least 25% of the country was and is still made of bona fide uneducated deeply retarded people, who trust nothing and no one, except for the person in power … as long as that tyrant knows how to hypnotize and manipulate them. Serving with the Pasdar group, gave meaning and purpose to Mostafa’s otherwise barren life. He enjoyed street battles with the brainy leftists in the streets of Tehran and felt like a member of the Mehdi army battling the infidels. In the local mosque, the chief mollah tied the knots between him and a bearded Abjee Komando, and sexual satisfaction soon granted him more power and confidence.  

Last time I saw Mostafa was during a wedding party, when his Pasdar group barged in to harass people for dancing and drinking. Couple of years later, he died in Hoveyzeh, while attacking the Iraqi mainland to capture Karbala for Imam Khomeini. He wasn’t blown up by a mortar or riddled with bullets, but drowned in one of the Iraqi defensive channels. Mostafa was always afraid of water, and I remember the time when I tried to teach that ten-year-old to swim in Raamsar. But the little Shiite refused, because he thought that the wavy water was boiling and foaming.

Why in our proud country of Iran with the claim of 2500 years of civilization and many doctors, engineers, scientists and artists, should the Republic be run by the Retards? Is that an anomaly or there is a more fundamental reason for it?

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