1.President Obama has disappeared, leaving Michelle in charge of the country.
2. Married members of Congress are voluntarily divorcing their spouses.
3. John Bolton and Patrick Kennedy have set themselves on fire in front of the White House.
4. The NRA is demanding gun control.
5. US embassy hostages are being sent back to Iran to be executed.
6. High ranking US military personnel are afraid to leave their homes.
7. Camp Ashraf has been renamed “The Alamo.”
8. Saddam Hussein is being reburied in Arlington.
9. Iraqi Kurds are all moving to Israel.
10. Reza Pahlavi has thrown away his green wristband and now claims he has also been delisted (US says he was never on the list).