Soho Gazette:Iranian born Mr. Nick Pendari, a resident of golders green region of London was arrested last night during london riots after smashing the windows of a soho sex shop, whilst screaming “Allah o Akbar, Khamenei joonam rahbar”, stealing large quantities of ladies glamour underwear and various cylindrical shaped sexual tools, all 10inches minimum in lenght.
On his arrest, Mr. Pendari was actually wearing most of the stolen underwear, and hiding at least one of the cylidrical sex aid tools inside one of his body orifices.
According to the arresting police officer, PC. Ramjit Patel, Mr. Pendari did not resist arrest, although he angrily referred to PC Patel as a “zionist agent”, promissing retributions outside Tehran’s british embassy, by “muslim students”, due to his “unjust arrest for being just a good muslim on this holy month of ramadan”, after PC patel refused his offer of an on the spot sexual act in return for his immediate release.
Talking to our reporter, inside the living room of their golders green flat, located above madame chang’s oriental massage paradise, sitting underneath a large pink poster of khomeini and arrafat passionately hugging and kissing, Mr. Pendari’s live in lover, Mr. Sholomon Goldenberg, expressed his utter sadness of Nick’s arrest. He said: “I have known Nick since his arrival in London in 1979. In fact I was the immigration officer who granted Nick his assylum, on grounds of him being a Homosexual card carrying member of SAVAK”. “I and her have been living together for over 32 years now as husband and wife”. Mr Goldenberg aded with a smile; “He calls me Jamal and I call her Jamileh. Often, during our nightly “romantic hour”, she dresses as a shia lebanese belly dancer, and me as late egyptian dictator jamal abdulnaser.”. On other occasions, Mr. Goldenberg added, “When Jamileh demands me to be rough and a bit humiliating on her, she likes to call me “Fredy”. But my jamileh, added Mr. Goldberg, with tear in his eyes, is essentially a good girl. This whole change in attitude started about a year ago, when she stopped receiving what she refferes to as her old age pension checks, from the Iranian embassy in london due to zionist inspired economic sanctions”
The case will be heard at Soho magistrate courts next friday, immediately after the Eftar.
