What do We Want? When will we Say it?

I received an email from NIAC detailing the extensive efforts that the same 4 people who in my opinion seem to do anything there, have done to re-iterate NIAC’s position. Namely that the current situation of enhanced sanctions is pushing everyone involved closer and closer to war.

In my opinion, the same 4 people: Trita Parsi, Jamal Abdi, Reza Marashi, and Trita Parsi (no math mistake, TP runs ragged so gets double the mention), went on the offensive to try an all out blitz to try and bring attention to what is right and correct in this circumstance. If stopping war is of interest to anyone.

The part of the NIAC email that immediately caught my attention (and opinion) was this quote, “Over the last week, members of the NIAC team have been busy presenting our community’s positions in the media.” Either I missed the meeting, or I’m not so sure that “our community’s positions” are all that necessarily against a new US war with Iran.

Of course war is hell, and a war with Iran may very well redefine the entire definition of “war is hell”, but as a “community” I’m not so sure we are all unified enough in our abhorrence of it.

I’ll admit this sounds barbarous. But when fully 33% of us prefer barbari over taftoon, sangak, and lavash, you have consider that some may in fact relish Iran getting it’s ass kicked by the US. Anything it takes to rid the country and society of the Moll(d)ah fungus.

NIAC’s proposition is innocent and naive if you stop the ridiculous assertions and conspiracy theories that they are on the IRI payroll and take trips to exotic Iranian resorts and meet with exotic Iranian resort officials and the usual garbage we seem more interested in wallowing in, rather than what NIAC actually and verifiably does. Which is not all that much. Actually.

This is because most American politicians by now (probably) know that NIAC is:

a) not National
and b) there is no such thing as an “Iranian-American” community, nevermind one that has the common sense or organizational tumescence to have a “Council”.

For lack of a better one, or until PAAIA stops reading it’s own press and believing it, NIAC (in my opinion) is an all volunteer organization of self appointed, self professed Iranian-American-Swedish concerned US citizens, who think that lobbying the US – sorry (in my opinion) lobbying is too high a word for what NIAC does- I guess “Begging?” US politicians to listen to a badly made, hard to follow the logic, argument for opening up “meaningful” dialog with Iran, but ONLY AFTER lifting the sanctions.

In my opinion, this is the effect NIAC has on US politicians. Based on the result or lack thereof.

Obviously most of the right-wing politicians in the US would rather play to the right which (in my opinion) starts each discourse on Iran by taking a Cialis followed by a Testosterone chaser. So that won’t EVER work.

I say this and the rest of this piece in jest, or as a joke, or in sarcasm. As a disclaimer.

But God Bless the little hearts of NIACis for giving it a good try. And who can think anything other than really how cute they are in their little suits and little haircuts, as they run headfirst into the shins of un-important and ineffectual American politicians and mediocre and naive commercial media like CNN or the BBC, or my personal bell-weather news source, RT (Russian TV). Repeatedly, over and over and over, like lemmings following one after the other over the cliff.

In my opinion, it would be adorable if it wasn’t pathetic. Don’t get me wrong. NIAC is a champion at this. No other organization of 4 people has done better. All the LA Iranian satellite shows barking at the moon and each others koons, combined, haven’t made as good a case as half of NIAC. As good as Jamal and Reza. Even without Trita!

This is largely because (in my opinion) we, as a community or singular voice on even the most obvious topic or simplest principle, technically, actually, and literally don’t exist.

No surprise that when a right-wing pro-war US politician checks into it, he finds relatively few registered Iranian voters in his district. Certainly no Iranian volunteers on his re-election campaign. Even though Iranians drink a lot of it, there aren’t any in the Tea Party! So when that same politician tries to find out what the census shows about us, our lack of resolve to clearly identify ourselves as other than “Other” or “Caucasian” doesn’t help us gain credible audience with the Lords of the Land of the Lost.

Even in our most visible chance yet, the soon to be our most embarrassing debacle to date, the BRAVO show “Shah’s of Sunset”, which will firmly cement utter chaotic confusion as to who we actually are, nevermind that relatively few of us are Jewish-Iranian-Americans, doesn’t bode well for either NIAC nor the rest of us blessedly asleep at this wheel for nigh on 32 years.

Another disaster awaiting us, the Oscars, best exemplifies the quagmire that is the essence of the “Iranian Dilemma”. At once, we are all to be un-bendingly proud and shut-your-damn-mouth-supportive of this year’s closest entry to a win, “A Separation”. Another Farhadi broken marriage (is that 6 now?) film, that at once shows that an Iranian marriage can be as miserable as any other, while at the same time serves as the best example of government imposed censorship and control by oppression, by allowing a complete social commercial showcasing the Iranian woman’s acceptance- no, choice, to wear the Hejab. Farhadi is so humbled, he doesn’t even know he’s self censoring anymore. Proof? The ending of his predictably depressing and hopeless film. Instead of “The end” Farhadi’s film should say, “The End Really Sucks”

But to follow like a lemming, I wish him the best of luck. It will gave him one last chance to redeem himself and his sellout, and tell the truth.

No such opportunity or luck for us though. In my last legal disclaimer and record of my opinion, we have to come together and define what it is exactly we, who are free to express it, want Iran to do, the US to do, and for everyone to be.

Do we want regime change in Iran?

Do we want the mollahs to stay in power?

Do we want the US to attack Iran?

Do we want Iran to have and deserve Nukes?

These should be relatively easy to answer individually. But that isn’t our problem. Lord help the person who asks an Iranian, “So, what do you think?”. But the greater more difficult thing is what we believe and want collectively as the best thing for all or most of us.

Until we can find a way to vocalize that and back it up with the harder currency of resolve and resolution, expect NIAC to drive it’s own clown car onto the DC beltway and go round and round and round, where it stops, nobody knows.

Then expect the equally comedic American politicians to figger’ things out on their own, and we all know where that often leads.

I’m not saying we should “Lead”, and continuing to “Follow” is completely out of the question. But one thing is for sure, we need to stop “getting out of the way” and step directly and firmly into the shit, or at least place our foot directly onto it’s throat. For once, and for all.

Of course this was all just my opinion. None of the names or characters mentioned in this article were meant to imply any relation to any person living or dead.

Except lawyers. Fuck each and every last one of them.

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