…So my relationship with my Iranian boyfriend has recently ended… To be more specific, HE has broken up with me… 🙁
To cut a long story short, both of us are students residing in a Western country. We get to know each other through a mutual acquaintance. Initially, I had not thought of going into a relationship with him when he first asked cos I barely know him well even as a friend back then. However, he was very charming and sweet, and I thought, give it a try. He’s my first ever foreign and Muslim BF. He’ also one of the very first Iranians I have ever known in my life. I am Chinese, by the way. Then when I tried to get him to change our relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship”, he refused. N I also discovered that he has tokens of love from his “ex GF (ex, or so he said)” still in his room. I mean, who will bring something from an ex all the way to an overseas country if you are no longer in love or in a relationship with her? It was then that he told me his parents had arranged for him to marry someone “next year”. I got a shock of my life, and finally managed to get him to call his parents to tell them he wants to be with me (we were together for about a week at this point). Anyhow, he said his parents told him to break up with me (he did). But then, when I tried to convince him that if we were together longer, his parents might come to terms with it and allow us to be together, but he then turned around and insisted he is now the one who does not want to be with me anymore, saying that “cos you are not Iranian”. Anyhow, on hindsight, I don’t really think he did call his parents cos I caught him that he had been telling me lots of lies in the past, after he decided that he did not want to be with me anymore. So I guess the phone call was only something to make him look good when breaking up with me.
I had loved him with all my heart, and prior to the “phone call (which was never made in front of me)”, I had told him that I would be willing to convert to Islam should things work out with us in the end, that I will learn all that I can about Iranian culture etc, to make him and his parents happy. I will be willing to do all that I can, but why must he cheat me and lie to me?
Before I met him, I knew another Iranian guy whom I actually like and admire very much as he is so intelligent and emotionally sensitive. But I think he is also just trying to cheat me and want to use me only for a sexual relationship (I never did have XXX with that Iranian ex BF I mentioned above but he was always trying to although we were together for only a fortnight), because he also has things from his ex GF in his room. More importantly, he asked me something which made me decide not to start a relationship with him although I had liked him so much at that time. He asked me if I had ever had XXX with my ex BF (when I told him it is offensive in my culture to ask a woman this, he said he also said that to show me why he kept those things from his ex – cos they did do that and thus he is still emotionally attached to her). Then he also kept on asking me if I am a virgin. I never answer any of his questions cos I feel is rude of him.
However, after all these bad experiences with both guys, I discovered that despite my twice broken heart, I have fallen so much in love with Iranian culture and especially with Iranian men. I just don’t understand why both Iranian men I like are both like this (i know fewer than 6 Iranian men). I don’t like to stereotype but from now on, I am really terrified of dating Iranian men anymore no matter how nice people they are cos I really don’t know why I keep having all these bad lucks and running into the bad ones which always appear as such good men, good people, good Muslims at first???? 🙁
