All stupid religious ideas must be ridiculed

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In the name of Science the merciful, all stupid religious ideas must be ridiculed to the maximum extent possible. This notion that a man died some 1,100 hundred, or so, years ago, yet somehow he would come alive again, come into the world, and rule the world is the most stupid thing I have heard in my life. Well, I take it back. It’s ONE of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my life. There are many others.

From elementary biology, we all know that once a body dies it decomposes into its most basic elements, mostly carbon. The gaseous elements, such as oxygen, nitrogen, and the other gaseous elements soon depart the body and mix with the atmosphere. The other solid elements, such as potassium, calcium, iron, and so on also mix with the soil, or whatever material that the dead body is buried in. So, what remains from the dead body, after a few years, which would remotely resemble anything “alive” might be in some DNA somewhere hidden in a bone fragment, in a strand of hair, or something like that.

But, a DNA is not a person. To make a person from a DNA, the already existing DNA of a reproductive cell must be removed first, and then the DNA of the dead person must replace it, then the cell allowed to grow to fetus, and then the fetus allowed to grow into a little baby boy, and then the baby allowed to go to an Arabic school when he is at school age, and then allowed to study in the finest higher education Islamic centers, wherever that might be, as long as they teach the latest scientific-Islamic curriculum, such as religious-biology, so he would learn how a dead man relives after being dead for so long. He would take different economy classes; free market economy, socialist economy, donkey economy, Voodoo economy, etc. And then he must also learn political-religious science classes, sociology-religious, history-religious, military-religious classes, etc., and do all these things by the age of, let’s say, twenty-five.

And while he was doing all of those easy-for-him classes, he must also become a physically strong man; that means he must exercise every day, lift weight, run, swim, and so on. So, now that he is physically and mentally strong, he must also become politically strong, which means he must start a religious-political carrier, let’s say start as a preaching cleric, conduct a few sermons here and there, go from this city to another and make people cry, and if he got arrested along the way that would not be important at all, because it would prepare him to become a better ruler of the world that he is going to rule over in the future. So, once he got some of that behind him he might do some military duties, become president of an Islamic country, let’s say a country like Iran, and then become its Supreme Leader, let’s say, by the age of forty. And to stay firmly in power, he must kill a few people here and there; kill some of his opponents, kill some journalists, kill a few cheating women, kill a couple of his own assassins, kill a few homosexuals, kill and kill till he is firmly in power. And then, close down a few newspapers, trade unions, writers’ associations, artists’ guilds, human rights centers, imprison a whole bunch of people, and send the rest of the people he doesn’t like to exile. And then, one day when everything is ready; his military is ready, his nuclear technology is ready, his armies of devotees are ready, his submarines are ready, his suicide bombers are ready, his eye-gouging goons are ready, and everything else is ready; one day he must go to a well, let’s say in Jamkaran (as advertized on national television), which would have already had an elevator (a wellevator) concealed in it, he would go to the bottom of that well and push a button and rise up to the surface and declare himself as the one and only Imam Zaman!

Absolutely not! You see how ridiculous this idea is! This notion of resurrection of a dead man is absolutely insulting to our intelligence, that’s why we have to ridicule it to the maximum extent possible.

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