May the curse of a hundred-year-misery be upon pervert Iranian men (الاهی مردهای منحرفِ ایرانی صد سال ذلیل بشن), because of their past and present misdeeds. But look, there is more restrictions on their naughtiness now. Women Only Coffee Shop! A place specifically designated for the Islamic Iranian women, where they can finally sip their coffee in peace and tranquility, without being gazed at, harassed, fingered, pinched, rubbed, robbed, groped, and/or propositioned. But, beside coffee there is more on the menu; Spearmint Juice, Eight-Distillate Juice, Pussy Willow Distillate Juice, Rosewater Juice, and Lemon Juice; and in case of hunger, there is always Bread+Cheese+Cantaloupe to top it off. Who would have thought the Islamic Republic of Iran’s society would advance so far that now Islamic Iranian women can finally eat bread, cheese, and cantaloupe in peace! Hard to believe, hard to believe! Finally the day has come for another one of the golden Islamic Revolution ideals to be achieved! Total emancipation from tyranny of pervert Iranian men in coffee shops! Allah-o-Akbar, Allah-o-Akbar!
May God bless those who are in the forefront of providing these services to the Islamic Iranian women! God bless them for finally providing a secure and happy place for the innocent daughters of Iran, for only God knows what evils would have happened to these innocent girls if the satanic regime of Shah was not overthrown; the satanic regime that forced women to get half naked and sent them to the beaches, and forced them to wear mini-skirts and walked them in the streets with their bare legs showing, and forced them to go to schools wearing pants so tight that their buttocks bulged out. Fortunately, all of that has changed for the better now. Under the glorious Islamic state, women can now swim fully clothed in segregated public beaches, and they can spread their scent all over swimming pools with their chadors without being watched by pervert men. The Islamic Iranian women can now walk the streets without being seen; and they can now go to schools safer than ever before, may many thanks be upon the Ministry of Science for earning second place in combating dress code violations among all governmental organizations. And still to come, before the start of the next school year, the Islamic Republic of Iran’s Ministry of Interior has said it will come to the aide of the Ministry of Science in implementing a two-year old directive to crackdown on the female students wearing perfumes, growing finger nails, wearing floral skirts, and tight-fitting or long manteaus with slits on the side. Thank God, the instructions on how to cover up will be enforced rigorously in the next academic year, so classrooms will be more secure and tranquil in the upcoming year, God willing of course.
The march towards full tranquility for the Islamic Iranian women is still ongoing but up to now these goals have already been gratefully achieved: women only banks, women only taxis, women only buses (get off the bus pervert), women only metro, women only parks, women only beaches, and women only hospitals. Women Only Coffee Shop is the latest achievement, where the Islamic Iranian women can drink many kinds of distillate and variety of juices, as well as picking from one of these fine foods; Vegetable Omelet, Sweet Omelet, and Cinnamon Omelet, beside Bread+Cheese+Cantaloupe, all in a happy and serene environment. The only shortcome is the limited hours of the recently opened coffee shop, which is on Sundays only, but this is temporary for now. God willing, with help from the Ministry of Interior, Ministry of Science, Ministry of Education, Ministry of Islamic Guidance, the Islamic Military forces, Basijees, Sepah, and the ever present defenders of Islam, soon fulltime women only coffee shops will be popping up all over the Islamic Republic of Iran.