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Happy without you
Last thing on my mind is an Iranian husband

By Banafsheh Pirasteh
November 8, 2000
The Iranian

I have encountered a variety of Iranian men in the U.S. and my view of them, well, for the most part you are all a joke. While you all thrive for money and status, you seem to forget that money can not buy class.

You throw cash on high-tuition colleges, yet you have gained no knowledge. You are all confused souls afraid to be challenged by Iranian women here.

You are discouraged because we are independent. You want to be needed, but we are focused on our careers which you fear. We are intelligent and sophisticated.

Why is it , generally speaking, that Iranian men just assume that Iranian women are shopping for husbands? And to top it off, why do you flatter yourselves by assuming that you are the first and only candidate?

I am sorry to give you a taste of reality but that is not always the case and honestly, in my case, it can't be any further from the truth. The last thing I think about when I meet Iranian men is marriage, dating, or even simple friendship.

Most Iranian men can't differentiate between a friend and a lover. You lack such self-fulfillment that you feel the need to go back to Iran and meet strange women and just marry one of them for the sake of being married.

Isn't marriage about understanding, friendship, respect, and love? Or is sex really that important that you fear if she has been sexually active you will not satisfy her? Are you that insecure? Or just that shallow and closed-minded?

Such kinds of Iranian men are in need of a comfort zone vs. a companion. I sympathize with you. I am sorry that you do not believe you can be completely happy and that you don't believe you deserve to be with someone who will love you and respect you for who you are.

I am sorry if you think marriage will be easy if your wife has grown up in Iran and has not traveled abroad. You think it will be easy to communicate with someone who doesn't even know you?

I have seen so many of these marriages fall apart. I am sorry that you might be heading that way. I have witnessed friends and family just jumping into something before even thinking about it. Do you know how much time and effort marriage requires?

I spend every minute of my days enjoying life rather than search for an Iranian husband. The most important thing in my life is taking the risk to be happy.

I guess the difference between you and I is our definition of marriage! Marriage to me is one of the most important decisions one has to make throughout life and I for one do not want to make a mistake!

I have always been loved by my family and I am not willing to settle for lust or anything less than the real thing. I don't fear the possibility that I will never find "The One!" I already have many great individuals who give me the love I need and the companionship you seek.

You see, you don't need a lover, girlfriend, or a wife to fulfill your emotional needs. All you need is a soul mate!

However, if you are just looking for "The One", then I guess you should marry a virgin in Iran instead of looking for a wife among Iranian women in the U.S. who have experienced life!

This article is in response to Cyrus Raafat's "Real Iranian girls?"

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