July 31, 2000
I keep reading about the efforts by some congressmen (Brad Sherman,
Democrat-California) and senators to reverse the lifting the partial sanction
in retaliation for 13 Jews in Iran. I can't help wondering why there is
so much bitching while it seems like there is no one who wants to do something
realistic about Iranian-Americans RIGHTS in this country?
Either "some" of you guys, just walked out of the boat!! Or
you don't understand this country's "political processes"? Or
you are in a deep sleep! Here are few blunt lessons about the political
realities in U.S that works!
1) MONEY: It must be U.S dollars. NO Iranian money please!
2) MONEY: It must go through few laundries, before getting to your congressman
or Senator! make sure it's clean! No Chinese temple stuff! Don't invite
them to a mosque. Ohhh I almost forgot! You got to have a good wine and
a good-looking waiting service!
3) MONEY. If you can get kosher money, that would be great! If you
can't, pay a rabbi to make them kosher. Even if it's not kosher they would
take it anyway!
4) No "Ayattolahs" or "Islam" PLEASE!
5) Forget about Democrats!! Don't waste your time or money on them!
They are already bought out! Go for Republicans, Greens or independents!
6) Here is a thought! I was wondering if we could create someone like
Monica Lewinsky to help us out. if she is not Jewish, like Monica, it might
work out too! But, please NOT as fat as she is! She must be beautiful,with
some meat, but not like Monica! I bet since Congressman Sherman, the way
he looks, he would go for it! Just look at his thick glasses and his nose!
7) To all those Iranian millionaires: a) Get a good accountant. Your
contribution to an Iranian political action committee (PAC) is tax deductible!
If you don't trust anyone with your money start you own PAC! b) Use your
brain, not your stomach! It's in your benefit too! c) Stop the "what's
in it for me" attitude! You will have a lot to gain! d) Show congressman
Sherman that you got "money" and "balls". Kick him
out of Congress then others will notice!
8) To all these Iranian college professors: a) Stop being unrealistic!
b) Start doing something real! c) Create a political PAC like everyone
else! d) Talk is cheap but MONEY TALKS!