From a joke circulated on the Internet. Thanks to R.
Wednesday April 26, 2000
New York (AP) - As many analyst are puzzled by continued correction
and drop in stock market, senior analyst of Goozman Partners, James Hassanberg,
has made several remarks that might be beneficial to some investors.
For example, he noted, " if investors had paid close attention
in the past few weeks, they would have realized that April 13th and April
14th coincided with Taasooaa and Aashooraa. This is the time when Imam
Hossein was brutally killed by Yazid's army. As the spirit of Imam Hossein
has survived for hundreds of years, so will the stock market."
For future investments, Mr. Hassanberg expressed that an "Abolfazl
Insurance" can help investors recover some of their loses. This type
of insurance is usually acquired when purchasing the stock. The investors
can purchase this insurance by loudly saying "Yaa abolfazl, Yaa Ghamar-e
Bani Haashem" prior to or at the time of purchasing the stock.
Soon Ameritrade and Etrade will add a simple key where investors click
on "Yaa Abol" at the time of execution. This will enable investors
to recover at least 25% of their losses.
By 2002, some of the leading underwriters will offer "Abolfazl
Supreme" which allows a 50% recovery.