I just opened the window for some fresh air and I heard this beautiful opera. Someone is listening to music so loudly-at workplace! It felt like the movie "Shawshank Redemption” when the prisoner locks the door and turns on the old gramaphone on the loud speakers and all the prisoners in the yard were astoned by it. They were surprised by the act but they somehow liked it.

And a thought crossed my mind about when I once said I like opera, and an intellectual Iranian gentleman said ”you don’t really like it, you just think you like it!” And my look asked it all and then he said because it reminds you of the requiem in Iran, the "rozekhani”. He strongly believed that opera is like rozekhani, so from that point on I thought there was no point in discussing the issue further. I am not an expert in opera and honestly I couldn’t hold an argument which would beat such an intellect!

Today when I heard the opera just as I opened the window I think I did feel what the prisoners felt, this sound is from heaven, it smells like freedom, it is glad tidings, that something out there is waiting for you and it is very very good. I just tried to enjoy the sound  and let it fill my mind, my heart and my soul. And I am thinking how many times did the rozekhani brought this out of me? I am trying to remember the time I was in Iran, in highschool, during the breaks, many times we had to listen to rozekhani and all I recall is sadness, nothing is waiting for me, no future whatsoever and all the other hopeless feelings that embraced many of us who were in Iran at that time.

Now getting back to my view of differences between opera and Rozekhani, let's ignore the complexitiy of the music and composition, but that the impact music can have on us can be so different. I know that rozekhani has nothing to do with music, but it is melodious, and melody induces certain reactions in the brain and since we are humans with intellect, the lyrics definitly have an influence on our mind and consequently on our behaviour. So the rozekhani in Iran did and still does fulfill its purpose. People used to get these feelings of guilt that the country is in war and why aren’t they present in the battle field and sometimes they felt sorry for themselves.

Women  specially remembered (and still do) that they were victims of so many unjust deeds from their partners, their in-laws, government, neighbours and friends and that ”nobody loves me” feeling just got all over the place and they couldn’t stop crying.  They  felt lighter, but nothing had changed for them and they were and many of them still are frustrated. Men sometimes felt like ”arising to serve” their country, sometimes not even that. Those who arose to serve made it even more difficult for their already victimized women. Isn’t this a vicious cycle!

And here I am, listening to the opera letting it penetrate my soul, and relaxing my mind, it is about love I know this one song, she is totally in love, I am thinking we should cherish the moments we were or are in love. Let the positive thought and the feeling of ”yes I am able to love” be dominating. This way I as a woman will be easier with myself and consequently with everyone around me and  when another woman tells me what a wonderful time she has had I can rejoice and be really really happy for her and not let the martyr feeling come out and get frustrated.

We women often have a lot of frustrations which is related to our cultural background but who doesn’t. I don’t have to like and do things because I am an Iranian woman, being Iranian means I have fantastic cultural heritage, but the culture  doesn’t have the equality of rights for both genders, so thank you I don’t want this part of it. The culture doesn't give priority to the education of women.Women's voice can't be heard by others not even in the form of songs, women legally are properties of men. For God's sake!

I know some of us might think that this is more from Islamic culture but the truth is that not only my mother and my grandmother but also their grannies have expereinced the same thing, and I do have this heritage too. Perhaps I, as an Iranian woman living outside Iran have the opportunity to ask myself who am I living for? What do I like? What don't I like? I might actually end up liking opera (: I may end up believing that when it comes to education women and girls should be top priority since they are the educators of future generation. I may end up being very happy for being a woman and get to the realisation that we are half the population of the world and we haven't been given the chance to participate in the world's affair equally.

The message I am trying to convey is that the real change begins when I decide to change. I can change the world if I can change ”myself”. For this I have to know my reality and my potentials. Each one of us is like ”a mine rich in gems of inestimable value”, one is a gold mine the other coal mine,both can serve their purpose if gleaned and processed properly. Therefore I need to know what are my qualities and begin working on them. Guess what we have our whole life for this.