Week 6 of the dreaded diet:
-- Weight: STILL too depressing to mention
-- Cigarettes: 3
-- Units of Alcohol: Into the double digits, that’s all I’m saying...

My bid to pour myself into a suitably va-va-voom “Knock-em-dead” party dress for an event this summer, continues unphazed. “I’ll show him” I think… “Him” is the dreaded Ex… Breaker of hearts, king of all tale-tellers and my sole reason (initially) for embarking on a diet… In the unrealistic hope of showing him what he is missing. Fully aware that my motivation is pathetic, predictable and the embodiment of Bridget Jones herself, I carry on regardless in a flurry of blind idiocy…

Although I still hold one small pearl of wisdom that I find comforting and that is that no matter what impression I leave with The Ex, when all is said and done, it is myself I am doing this for now and no one else. And just like that… Bridget Jones has left the building.

Although I have now lost 18lbs over the past 5 weeks, I still find myself fighting the urge to unhinge my jaw and inhale copious quantities of lamb samosas, southern fried chicken, assorted cheeses and several kilos worth of spaghetti Carbonara. Yes, despite my cool and controlled exterior, I am currently awash with dangerously fat-laden food cravings, that I just cannot seem to shake off, no matter how hard I try. It just sneaks up on you from nowhere, and despite knowing full well that the cravings will leave just as quickly as they arrived, I know that if I give in to the cravings, it will cement my demise.

I admit I am having a tough week. I have now begun my 6th week of dieting and haven’t cheated even once, yet I strangely gained 1lb in my weigh-in last week. But in a completely contradictory masterstroke, my eager little (or NOT so little) body managed to shed a whopping 7lbs this week. Utterly bizarre and completely baffling. Perhaps it’s the old hormones working overtime, maybe its job stress, but I cannot seem to get some foods out of my head… no matter how hard I try!

Despite having a rather (unusually) boozy night on Friday, this hasn’t seemed to have had a negative impact on my weight loss, which again, seems strange. I am trying to put the inconsistent behaviour of my body and it’s functions behind me to try and concentrate on moving forward and distracting myself from the recent spate of strange going’s on.

I’m getting ready for a nice relaxing week-long holiday to Cyprus next week and am mentally preparing myself as well as packing strange food items to facilitate my diet whilst I’m abroad. “Toothbrush, check! Swimwear, check!” (Soya sauce, Marmite, sweet chilli sauce and Nestle Fitnesse bars…. CHECK!) I know at this point, you may have lost all respect for me, but what’s a girl to do? I have to soldier on and maintain the diet and not lose momentum, as well as kiss goodbye all the effort I have put into this whole ‘project’. It’s become a mission and I cannot fail!

Although I cannot deny that I am dreaming of Halloumi, Souvla (and Souvlaki), Keftedes, Spanokopita and absolutely anything and everything that comes out of a traditional Cypriot kitchen! Rather than go on and on, I shall do some ‘research’ whilst in Cyprus on local foods, traditions and delicacies and report back in my next instalment.

Until next time folks all I can say is “Sun, sea and s-s-s-spinach and feta cheese pastries… here I come!!”