Praise for Gibson's passion
March 2, 2004
Tehran, IRNA - Iran's supreme
leader today called Mel Gibson's "The Passion of Christ",
the best spectacle he has seen since last week's stoning of
At a shock press conference in Tehran, Ayatollah
Ali Khamenei stood on a podium, behind a huge poster of portraying
Jesus Christ, and remarked on the millennium's most
Khamenei started off by praising
Gibson as a cultural figure parallel to Iran's own Hafez.
He then proceeded to go through Mel Gibson's filmography stating
facts such as, "I could tell from his performance as 'Mad'
Max Rockatansky, in the post-apocalyptic future, that he was
a great man. He reminded me of myself in that film".
leader Khamenei then stated that "[Gibson] has continually
battled for the truth" showing "England's despicable
politics in films such as 'Braveheart' and 'The
When pressed on why he had called this press conference,
Khamenei commented that the protests that have erupted around
such as the ones seen "outside the Zionist haven of Times
Square" were typical Israeli tactics of "always wanting
to be the victim" and "justifying their evils, against
the Palestinians". He pleaded with his Israeli counterpart,
Ariel Sharon to see the film for its "artistic beauty".
He then ended the press conference by saying that
the film" and that he and the Islamic Republic of Iran, "give
it, our full backing". He added, "I
give it two thumbs up" and proceeded to do the thumb
action while smiling and showing a full set of black teeth. As
a shocked audience of Iranian press gasped, he pirouetted off
the stage, whistling the "Lethal Weapon 2" theme-song.
But the conference was not yet over. Iran's supreme
leader suddenly stopped in his track, wheeled around and ran
to the podium. Grabbing the microphone violently he then told
the audience he had "one more thing to add. I give Israel
one thumbs up! BILAAKH". He waved his right hand, fist clenched,
thumb extruding vertically, while laughing and muttering "bilaakh"
In an unrelated piece of news, infamous ex-Death
Row rapper, Snoop Doggy Dogg held an impromptu press conference
San Francisco. The rapper, porn mogul and part-time actor was
flanked by 20 gay men who had recently been wed in San Francisco.
Snoop, holding up a pimp glass toasting with Richard
Fiddler, the 30-year-old homosexual rights activist, held a
brief press conference/photo opportunity.
Commenting on the recent gay marriages being held
in San Francisco and New York, Snoop said: "Yet again the West Coast has
set the precedizzle (precedence) and y'all East Coast haters
have to follow".
Slinging the West Coast gang sign on his
right hand, while 20 rampantly camp homosexuals mimicked, Snoop
shocked the audience by not attacking gay marriages, but
rather attacking the East Coast and specifically New York,
for always trying to "copy the West Coast Stylizzle (Style)."
New York had started to grant marriage licenses to gay couples
a few days after San Francisco.
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