Advice

January 16, 2002
The Iranian

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* Is it harmful?

Dear Abjeez,

I am a 16-year-old Iranian male,i like to masturbate but after I do it, i feel guilty, I think it is a big sin, but I love it.so what should I do and how often should I masturbate in a month? And is it harmful for a teenager like me?

AMN

Reply

Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write:

It is at times like these that the Dear Abjeez wished they had a dear Daadaash perspective to give you the wisest answer to your dilemna. However, we will do our best.

First of all, it is fundamental that you do not think of sex -- any form of sex -- as a sin. It is a natural function of the human body, and can even be a beautiful experience when shared by two people in love.

Of course, the problem with biology is that sexual urges will overtake you long before you are involved in a loving relationship. So it is normal for a boy your age to explore aspects of his sexuality. You should not feel guilty or that you are commiting a big sin because I can assure you that other 16-year-old boys around the world are doing exactly the same thing.

The next part of your question is more difficult. You ask us to give you an exact quota of how many times per month you can be allowed to instantly gratify yourself. Unfortunately, we cannot answer you with an exact number: What we do believe is that moderation is the key to leading a healthy, happy life. This motto can be applied to your situation. But it has to be applied by you, using your own common sense.

If you feel this is becoming a problem in your life, there are ways to control your desires, or at least use that pent-up energy in other directions. For example, go for a sprint, or shoot some basketball hoops until your breath runs out. You will feel much better about yourself and decrease the guilt that is eating away at you.

We hope this advice has been helpful. However, the best thing is for you to speak to an older male in your vicinity, perhaps a brother or a cousin, a friend, or even a counselor at school. You are not alone in this situation therefore you should not feel ashamed to bring up this topic with your peers. They have all gone through the same thing and will probably shed a more useful light on your inquiries than a couple of abjeez, even armed with the best intentions, ever could.

Take Care,

Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti

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