Advice Nnovember 12, 2002 The Iranian Send us your questions and comments * Love on the internet? Do you think it's "love" if 2 people date over the internet? P Reply Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write: It is very possible to fall in love not only through the internet, but also many mediums where you don't necessarily meet the person face to face. For example, Abji Fotty's aunt fell in love with her future husband after a number of phone sessions: Both of them began by being attracted by the sound of the voice on the other line, and then totally fell over heels as they found out how much they had in common and how they could talk and laugh and cry over the same things. In another scenario, Abji Pari's uncle fell in love with the neighbour's daughter in an environment where it wasn't even possible to "date", it was either marriage or nothing! So the way they got to know each other was throuhg letters surreptitiously passed over the wall dividing their garden. The abjis themselves have been Internet freaks for a long time and developed quite a number of friendships over email. So they think it would be very possible for 2 people to fall in love over internet as well. It has not been unheard of that people got married after a lengthy email and chatroom correspondence. The great thing about something like the Internet is that people can get to know each other's minds first, without being drawn necessarily by surface beauty. People who get to know each other that way find out about the inner beauty first. Not that physical aspect is not important: After all there has to be a certain chemistry for friendship to develop into love. However, that being said, the abjeez are a bit concerned here because you have stated in your previous email that you are 15 years old. We do not want to lump you in a category with others and tell you not to go on the internet or to fall in love just because you are 15. HOWEVER, there are many horrible stories out there of people who take advantage of the naivety and inexperience of teens and children to lure them somewhere under the pretext of a friendship or love connection. So please please please be careful whatever you are involved in right now that you consider internet love. If this is someone your age, from your school, or the daughter of a family friend, whom you have met in person and since then you have emailed each other, then the abjeez would be less worried. However, if this is someone you have met solely through the internet, please remember that all you know about them is what they tell you: they may very well lie and have bad motives. Even pictures can easily be faked. Do not reveal any information about yourself such as your address phone number school etc unless you actually know this person in flesh and blood. Please talk to a parent or counselor at school before you do anything rash such as meeting them in person. The abjeez don't want to rain on the internet parade. As we have described to you, it can be a wonderful medium for getting to know people. However, it has to be used with caution and common sense, especially at your age. Please write to us again with any questions. Take care of yourself and enjoy, Abjee Pari and Abjee Fotti Comment for The Iranian letters section Comment for Abjeez Fotti and Pari ALSO Abjeez Previous replies RELATED Kobra Khanom SECTIONS * Recent * Cover * Writers * Arts & lit * Opinion * Satire * History * Interviews * Travel * Women * Rights * Surveys * All sections

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